


Broken Made Whole

by nescamonster



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blood and Injury, Blood and Torture, DarkCrew, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, GTA-V, Gore, M/M, Multi, Murder, Murder-Suicide, Other, Serial Killers, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-07-23 06:24:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16153427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nescamonster/pseuds/nescamonster
Summary: Welcome to the Dark Achievement Hunter universe. Cannot stress enough this fic is filled with very heavy Theme's, please mind tags and suggest any you believe I've missed. This is here explore the Darkest impulses Humanity can engage in. This is a rewrite of a story I did Four years ago, but if you read that one, you'll find this one is the spirit but quiet a bit different. The original character is my replacement for Jacks role, respecting His wishes to be left out of Dark stories, not Jack hate. (Jack Pattillo is an actual angel RL and should be protected)You don't have to have read the old too enjoy this one, and you may spoiler yourself if you do read it.--The world was cold, it's people cruel. Morals were a luxury, every street corner holding pain and secrets. Jeremy Dooley knew this as much as anyone, so he joined the FAKE AH to get ahead in this inhospitable world. Still something was missing, something he didn't understand.Not until he saw the Vagabond at work. Something drew him in...He needed to see what Ryan saw...--I HATE DOING THIS BUT, Its happened and I can't afford to live. I dunno when I'll be back. So this is in permanent hold till my situation changes...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Jeremy couldn't stop himself. Once again he found himself watching Ryan at work.  
> WARNING: Torture ahead

Jeremy knew it wasn’t right, and yet, he couldn’t stop coming down to watch Ryan work. It was fascinating. Jeremy had seen blood, seen injuries, had even caused more than a few himself, but nothing on the level of what Ryan did.

The man was undoubtedly an artist, one torture leading perfectly into the next.  Jeremy liked to stand in the corner, at Ryan’s insistence just enough to one side so the victim had to turn their head to see him fully. From there he could witness the magic.

Ryan wouldn’t ask any questions to begin with. Just playing around, having a feel for what would work best. Talking all the while. People knew Vagabond as the silent deadly dog of the Fake crew, but that meant he saved up alot to say.

“So do you like knives?” Ryan would ask, and without waiting, slice at them, “I like knives.” Blood, ruby red and perfect would spill out, Jeremy's eyes tracking the crimson waterfall down chest. He had shot people, stabbed them, cut throats, but never stayed around to watch how the blood falls. How it follows the curves and dips of flesh. How it soaks into denim so slowly.

“I love a good barbeque.” Ryan would laugh, searing his victim with his handheld Blowtorch. He made creme brulee with that very same one. Jeremy remembered how delicious it was as he watched blisters form and burst, the skin bubbling from the heat.

Sparks flew from the jumper cables and Ryan touched them together. A leering skull leaning down to whisper, “A classic for a reason” before setting them to his victim. Jeremy watched the spine stiffen, the shoulders shake and a pained grunt force its way from between clenched teeth.

They were more than willing to talk by that point, but still Ryan grabbed the sledgehammer, swinging it around, smashing it against cement until the victim in the chair was screaming secrets at the top of his lungs. It did nothing to prevent the hammer coming down on his kneecaps. Jeremy wondered what bone marrow looked like when the red became so dark it was black.

To be tortured by Ryan was to be the sole focus of his world.

Now however, the main event was over. Ryan had gotten all the secrets Geoff wanted and the boss had given him the go ahead to permanently silence this one. Though Jeremy struggled to admit he enjoyed watching Ryan work, making excuses every time he came down here. But he couldn’t deny he found this part fascinating.

Ryan put down the Pliers, taking up his personal hunting knife from the tray. As he passed the door, he shut the slot so noise no longer escaped. This was a private moment and Jeremy was honored that Ryan indicated he should stay there.

The method varied but the result was always the same. This latest one was as intimate a time as any. Ryan gently set himself down over broken legs, heedless of the blood getting on his own outfit.

“Please… Please… Please…” Bruised, battered and broken, they begged for him like they always did at the end. Then something changed. Jeremy sucked in a breath as Ryan looked up over their prisoners shoulder to meet Jeremy’s eyes.

The blue in the mask shone bright as Ryan reached up and pulled the plastic from his face. His eyes were still the most haunting feature, highlighted in Black. Jeremy stood up from where he leant on the wall, knowing it was coming. With a gentle hand Ryan hushed the vague sobbing coming from the bound victim, lovingly stroking the mangled face.

Ryan allowed his victim time to breathe through the pain, gently guiding their head to rest on his chest. He patted their hair and murmured soothingly, still gazing at Jeremy who was subtly shifting to get a better view, his own eyes flicking between Ryan’s and the man he sat upon.

“It’s ok. Shhhh. You did so well. So well. So good for me huh?” Ryan was saying as the prisoner cried hopelessly into his bloodstained shirt. Sometimes Ryan took his time. Sometimes he was quick. Sometimes he was mean and sometimes, like now, he was almost lover level of kind. Ryan finally pulled his eyes from Jeremy who could do nothing but watch, mesmerized by Ryan's voice and movements as much as the bound man.

“Hey now, look at me. Look.” He commanded softly, helping guide the prisoners eyes to his. He smiled and it damn near broke Jeremy’s heart to see the tender Ryan he knew atop a man that he had pulled apart not to many minutes ago. The Victim was likewise affected, fresh sobs breaking out but not allowed to break eye contact.

“Shh. I am just a man. I am just a human being. Just like you. There is no Demon, no Monster. Just me. And just you.” Jeremy was ignored but he didn’t mind. Ryan was treating him to a special show. He didn’t know why but he was trying to capture everything in his mind.

“I’ll make the pain stop for you.” Ryan promised and a tattered voice croaked out so faintly, Jeremy had to take a step forward to catch it.

“You will?”

Ryan smiled that heartbreaking smile, actual tears welling in his eyes.

“Of course. I’ll stop it. For you.” He whispered and slid his knife home into his prisoners heart. Then in a practiced move, identical to however he finished them, he fisted the hair behind their head, leaning in close, eyes darting between his victims pupils, searching, searching...

It was a quiet, almost gentle death and after a moment Ryan sighed, shuffling back and off, letting the corpse head go to slump over their chest. He pulled the knife and moved to wipe it clean with the water boarding rag. Jeremy came over quietly, feeling the need to be silent and respectful. Like a cautious animal he looked at Ryan, but Ryan had put a hand on the wall, breathing steadying breaths and made no objections to Jeremy near his kill. Jeremy looked down at the body and with sure hands, lifted the face up to look for himself into those eyes.

Empty.

Disappointment flooded Jeremy. So many times had he taken a life, but never had he actually looked into their eyes. With how obsessed Ryan seemed with the practice, Jeremy had hoped to see _something_ to justify what the hell he was doing down here once again.

Jeremy sighed aloud and looked up to see Ryan staring back at him, his knife still in hand. Jeremy let the head flop forward once more, standing straight and backed up two steps. Ryan strode towards him purposely and unease flooded the youngest crewman as he was backed up further until his back hit the wall.

Ryan's face was so close, Jeremy could see the paint run from extended sweat. Ryan's eyes were dark all around the socket but his eyes were bright, dilated. They searched Jeremy's face, the lad turning his head slightly to try and move further back but only giving Ryan more room to press into his personal space.

“Why are you here Jeremy?” Ryan asked suddenly, his face the mild curious of a boy with a magnifying glass. Jeremy felt very much the ant as those cold blue eyes finally stilled, locking on his own. A chill ran down his spine and his nerves screamed danger with the Vagabond so close.

“Why do you watch me all the time huh? Mr squeamish Jeremy. ‘Oh no, torture is so wrong, so bad’” Ryan mocked him but he didn’t dare defend himself even as Ryan’s free hand came up to lean against the wall, just above his shoulder. The knife trailed up the soft skin on his arm and Jeremy gulped as suddenly he felt as if he was the sole and only focus of Ryan’s world.

Ryan wasn’t wrong. When Jeremy had first joined he had objected to torture. He was a infiltrator. His kills were either close fast and quickly abandoned or from the safety of a sniper's nest. He had no experience with prolonging pain, and hadn’t understood its full uses in an operation like this one.

“Lil’J... Did Geoff ask you to keep an eye on me? Did Alex?” Ryan asked softly and tilted his head, eyes narrowing just slightly when Jeremy jerked his head in negative.

“What’s the matter? Edgar got your tongue?” He asked even softer as the knife caressed Jeremy’s jaw line, the heart blood leaving a sticky trail in his trimmed beard.

“R-Ryan. W-hat are you d-doing?” he stuttered out as the knife left his cheek and ran down the front of his shirt, gliding down between his Pecs until it rested in his belly button. It wasn’t hard to imagine that knife pushing forward, sliding into Jeremy's internal organs like they were it’s sheath. Not even five whole minutes had passed since that same blade had been inside a heart.

“Never mind that.” Ryan's voice sharpened slight but still was a polite conversation level. “Tell me why the sudden interest in my job? This is the ninth person you’ve watched me dispatch…” Ryan trailed off before startling Jeremy, hitting the wall by Jeremy's head with his palm, shouting, “Why?!”

Jeremy tried to speak but all that came out was a soft jumble of words. Ryan’s face turned hard for a flash then gentled again.

“Try that again?” he encouraged and Jeremy swallowed his trepidation of the larger man looming over him so he could concentrate on the answer, on forming the words and delivering them coherently. It wasn’t helped by the knife coming back to his throat, the tip against his adam’s apple.

“The truth now.”

“I want to know what you see.” Jeremy managed without a single stutter, careful to pronounce each word carefully and slowly. Ryan smiled and suddenly Jeremy could breathe again as the knife tip disappeared. Ryan took a step back and opened his arms, the knife, disturbingly absent.

“Lil’J, why didn’t you just ask? Here, come look.” He enthused and put an arm around the still trembling sniper. The corpse would have to be moved soon to avoid stiffening into the shape of the chair but for now was still freshly limber. Ryan picked up the head by the hair once more, drawing Jeremy’s attention to the glassed out eyes.

“What do you see?” Ryan asked his voice deep and dulcet. At the invite, Jeremy gave Ryan a confused look before turning his eyes as instructed. Ryan held the head up as if the neck was still working, but the lids of the eyes had drooped. Jeremy leant in, searching, insides turning in trepidation in case Ryan's mode swung towards the murderous again.

“I- Nothing. I see nothing. Just dead eyes.” Jeremy said a little confused and still a bit on edge. Ryan tapped his own nose with his free finger and his grin widened.

“Ah, but do you remember? Just before I broke their heart?” Ryan asked, looking expectantly at Jeremy only to sigh as Jeremy returned his look with a blank one of his own. Even in death the body got no respect, head falling forward for a third time so Ryan could clasp his hands on Jeremy’s cheeks, his palms still sticky from blood, cool against Jeremy's skin.

“I look into your eye’s Jeremy and they are just like theirs had been,” he dipped his chin at the corpse without looking away from Jeremy, “So alive. Moving, searching, thinking. Full of pain, of hope of despair. I can look into someone’s eyes and know what their thinking. It’s all written there plain to see.” Ryan’s face was drawing closer as he lectured until the gents lips were close enough to Jeremy’s that he felt the warmth from them. Ryan paused and Jeremy wondered what was going to happen.

Blue filled his vision and he didn’t know how he would feel if Ryan closed that tiny distance between them. He had the outrageous and crazy idea that perhaps he should. Just as Jeremy sucked in a breath, steeling himself for that last half inch, Ryan pulled back looking back and forth between Jeremy’s eye’s. It made him blush as Ryan gave him a knowing look, a thumb brushing his cheek affectionately, like Ryan had seen his inner thoughts.

“Plain to see Jeremy. In the eyes.” Ryan repeated softly, pausing for a long moment. Then it passed and took his hands from Jeremy’s face, the heat of them burnt into the young man’s skin. One hand on his hip, Ryan waved a hand at the corpse as if it had irritated him, giving Jeremy a moment to suck in some much needed breath.

“But that, now? Nothing. Empty. All gone.” He huffed and looked back to Jeremy who realized he was swaying slightly, his body all tingling. He managed to bring focus back to Ryan, that easy smile parting over white teeth.

“Little Jeremy. I see the moment the board is wiped clean. The very instant when it all fades. And to be the one holding the eraser? That’s a pretty good feeling.” Ryan explained and too Jeremy it seemed there was an energy to Ryan that he had never experienced for himself. Sure he had killed but never as intimately and as personally as Ryan does. Looking at the glowing face of the gent and seeing the rush first hand, listening to the reasoning behind it filling him with a longing he never recognized before.

“Can you show me?” He asked before he thought to hard about it, voice hitching with suppressed excitement that soared when Ryan nodded. He never took his eyes off Jeremy’s face as he stepped back towards the door and lifted a fist.

“Oh yeah. Let me show you my world Jeremy. I’d love too.” Ryan assured him then slammed his raised fist into the door twice. The electricity Jeremy felt between them snapped when Ryan opened the door and stuck his head out.

“Hey kids, wanna see a dead body?!” he called, clean-up crew inbound. The door came wide and as Trevor and Michael came in, Jeremy found Ryan looking at him once more. He knew the next one, he wouldn’t just be watching.

An unidentified shiver ran up his spine at the thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy wondered if he'd ever get the call... Then it finally comes

It was six weeks since the offer Ryan had extended to the curious Jeremy. Six weeks of Ryan steadfast ignoring any attempts Jeremy made at bringing it up. Six weeks of Jeremy wondering if it had been a dream, that it never happened at all because Ryan was no different, though Jeremy felt as if he was the who was changed. As if his body needed something he wasn’t getting.

Today had found him like any other. Gavin had kicked him off one on one gaming because Jeremy had been too distracted. Gavin was laying now, upside down on the couch, legs over the back and head brushing the floor. There was an Xbox remote in his hands and he was playing a one on one game with Alex instead. 

Alex didn’t normally play fighting games but now he was seated on the single couch, leant forward and eyes on the screen, passing barbs back and forth with the viper tongue Gavin Free. It left Jeremy with a moment to look out the window over the city and let his mind wander. Wander back down into the cell area…

His phone vibrated in his pocket and Jeremy checked it on autopilot, his mind occupied with reviewing blood splatter from bullet impact and blood splatter from Ryan slicing away, humming happily.

**V: Want to see my world?**   
  
The text from Ryan was out of the blue. Jeremy's skin started to prickle and he became conscious of his breathing when Alex gave him a strange look out of the corner of his eye. He tried to calm himself and give Alex a reassuring smile as he settled deeper into the couch, trying to look casual and drawing on his experience as a professional infiltrator. Alex looked back to the screen as his turn came about and Jeremy took the chance to text back, reassured that Alex was distracted.   
  
**J: I’m with Al and Gav gimme some time to slip out?**   
  
The response was quick with Ryan on edge after so long between kills.   
  
**V: Hurry I’m not letting this one go**   
  
Everyone in the crew knew Ryan needed a kill at least once a month but this dry spell was unavoidable. After their rivals, had found the mangled remains of their man, they hadn’t turned tail and ran like Geoff had expected. They had instead allied with two other gangs and were putting the pressure back on FAKEAH. The Boss wasn’t too worried about it, working on something special to get rid of the threat. In the meantime, they had been told to keep their heads low.   


No longer it seems.   
  
In a crew as demented as this one, where they all had their dark quirks, Alex acted as the eyes and ears of Geoff when the boss wasn’t around. Jeremy wasn’t sure if this was a sanctioned Kill Ryan was about to preform and he didn’t want to draw Alex’s attention to it. Jeremy gave himself ten minutes before as casually as he could, he got up about to move away.   
  
“What you up to?” Alex asked, his tone just this side of pointed. He never missed a trick much to the crews frustration. Jeremy tried not to look shifty as he shrugged.   
  
“Oh you know, gonna go out for a bit.”   
  
“Yeah? Where too?”   
  
“Ahh, get food. Got hunkering for a hamburger.” He laughed and patted his stomach. Too his dismay, Alex paused the game and fixed Jeremy with one of his trademark stare’s that made men spill their guts. Gavin looked between the two then rolled, falling to the floor all legs as he up righted himself.   
  
“Ok, what am I missing? Lil’J got a new girl or something?” He asked and Alex nodded slowly, arms folding.   
  
“Or something.” Alex drawled slowly and Jeremy knew he was busted, kicking his feet in disappointment. Alex gave a long sigh as he stood up, throwing the remote on the couch and gesturing at Jeremy to follow.   
  
“I’ll just stay here then?” Gavin asked irritated at being left out, shaking his head, throwing himself onto the couch properly, cueing up halo and muttering under his breath. Gavin was the master at dramatic sulks and Alex knew when to ignore them, leading Jeremy into the Heist room. As the door closed, Jeremy felt another buzz of his phone but didn’t dare check it, instead sitting when Alex directed him too. Jeremy sat in the only chair, feeling very much like he was in the principal’s office.   
  
“So I don’t know if you knew this, but Geoff and I are not idiots.” Alex said sternly as Jeremy hung his head, hands clasped between his knees. Alex had adopted the Parent pose, crossed arms, disappointed features and the southern drawl just drew out the uncomfortable experience for Jeremy.   
  
“We know you’ve been watching Ryan work and you’ve volunteered for clean up the past fourteen times.” Jeremy didn’t say anything but his phone was burning a hole in his pocket as it buzzed again. He didn’t dare check it with Alex standing above him working himself into a lecture.   
  
“Jeremy, you’re not the first you know.” Alex said and the short sniper looked up at that, confused. Alex smiled kindly at him and nodded like he was answering a question Jeremy had posed.   
  
“Oh yeah. You’re not the first Ryan has tempted down the rabbit hole. I had a look myself, just a small little peek.” He admitted and Jeremy straightened, eyes burning with curiosity. Perhaps he wasn’t so abnormal to be fascinated by Ryan. Perhaps Alex could explain what it was that was pulling him towards the serial killer.   
  
“Well? What did he show you? How was it?” He asked sharper than intended in his eagerness. Alex looked away, petting his goatee to reassure himself in a familiar gesture, considering the answer carefully.   
  
“Intense.” He finally settled on the word as he looked back to Jeremy, “Really fucking intense. And Ryan...Isn’t quite Ryan. Michael took a trip with him too and he really said it when he came home. Ryan gets death drunk.” At Jeremy’s slightly alarmed face Alex put up his hands to soothe him.   
  
“No, it’s ok. We love Ryan just the same you know. Whatever he likes is what he likes and we try to keep him sated. Michael has even gone back for the very occasional seconds. But I just wanted to warn you before you go gallivanting off to understand how deep you can go.” Jeremy sat back stunned at what he was hearing.   
  
“You’re going to let me go?” Jeremy asked hopefully. Another buzz followed immediately by a second in his pocket.   
  
“Just keep your phone handy and me on speed dial ok? Text me where he takes you and if he gets pissy about that then leave.” Alex warned his voice dark and Jeremy cocked his head. Since Ryan had trusted him with his real name, Jeremy had been assured Vagabond was a necessary evil. That Ryan himself would never hurt crew.   
  
“Ryan wouldn’t hurt me, would he?” He asked and Alex sighed giving a tiny twitch of his lips in what may have been a smile.   
  
“Only if you ask nicely. No Lil’J, this is just me being careful because, like I said. It’s intense.” Alex nodded his head at Jeremy’s pocket giving him permission to look. The sniper pulled it free immediately to check messages, relieved to have Alex’s blessing such as it was.   
  
**V: J I can’t wait to much longer** **  
****  
****V: I got a present for you** **  
****  
****V: Isn’t it the best?** **  
**  
There was a photo attached to the last message, of a man unconscious on a bed. They seemed asleep and unaware of the different shiny objects circled around their form. Knives and lighters and blunt objects decorated him in a frame, a delightful promise of what was to come.    
  
Jeremy gasped as he studied the man who was oblivious to the instruments around him, feeling Alex place a hand on his shoulder and look for himself. Jeremy looked up to see Alex sigh out a breath through his frown, eyes moving from picture to Jeremy consideringly.   
  
“You sure you want to go?” Alex checked. Jeremy knew this image should have terrified him. But really it felt to Jeremy like Ryan was asking him, inviting him, to a friendly game. One Jeremy found he very much wanted to play. Jeremy wondered at his own conviction, it had come from nowhere and surprised him, but it was strong.   
  
“Yes.” His voice rung with it and he felt as if something inside him was being called to the surface. Something Ryan had somehow known about but Jeremy wasn’t sure had existed until he had felt the tip of Ryan’s knife caress his face and that dulcet voice ask him if he wanted to see. He had to find out more about this thing. Ryan had his answers. 

Alex squeezed his shoulder and nodded, “All right, but on consideration I’m coming with you.”

“You don’t have too.” Jeremy said quickly. He wanted to be alone with Ryan during this. It seemed right somehow that Ryan was going to show him something, but only if it was just them. Alex shook his head however, plummeting Jeremy's hopes.   
  
“I tried to tell Geoff that Ryan was getting antsy. But Geoff’s been so focused on his plans he brushed it off. Now look. No this is gonna be bad and if you want to go then I’m going with you to make sure both of you stay in control.” Alex picked Jeremy’s phone out of the younger mans hands, Jeremy wondering just what was going to happen as Alex texted from his phone, anxiety choking him momentarily. What if Ryan told him no? What if he decided it was too much trouble having them both along?

Anxiety quickly gave way to a fury Jeremy wasn’t aware he had. It burned through him as he watched Alex talk to Ryan on Jeremy’s Phone, making his stomach heavy with it. Blood thumped in Jeremy's ears and he knew he had to stop Alex from coming, one way or another…

Alex got some sort of reply and handed the phone back, “C’mon.” he said, turning and expecting Jeremy to follow. With his phone back in hand, Jeremy was suddenly empty, the fury retreating back into that dark spot that Ryan had helped him glimpse. He blinked heavily twice, clearing his thoughts before getting up.

Alex already had his own phone in hand and had turned to talk to Gavin the moment he exited the room, “We’re going out Gav, don’t wait up.”   


“Yeah, sure. I’ll just stay here and twiddle my knob then huh?” Gavin snapped, hurt at being excluded and still in Dramatic sulk mode. Alex stopped on his way to the front door, fulling turning to face the lad whining in the living room with his arms wide open in defence.   
  
“You wanna come watch the Ryan show then huh?” Alex drawled sarcastically, knowing as much as Jeremy did that Gavin might be the most bloodthirsty of them all, but rarely did he like actual blood to touch him.   
  
“Oh that’s what you’re doing?” The hurt had dissipated and Gavin was his normal self once more, waving a hand at them, shooing them out, “Nope, I’m good right here. Good luck with that.” He said with a slight shudder that had Jeremy raise a brow but follow Alex into the hall.   
  
“Hey Geoff, I told you so.” Alex started in on a phone call, informing Geoff what was going on and where they were going. As he did so Jeremy checked his phone as it buzzed once more, the first message was the one Alex had sent.   
  
**J: Alex here, I’m driving J, need address** **  
****  
V: Where it normally is.**

**V: Gonna watch the show too huh?** **  
****  
****V: How far you out? I’m ready to get started here, might play without you guys** **  
**  
Another picture, now the unconscious man had a sheet over his waist and he was topless, his chest bare of any hair, shaving cream and a razor resting on his stomach. His hands had been expertly bound together in rope and above his head. He looked so vulnerable that Jeremy had to bite his lip to stop any noise from escaping. It was instantly obvious why Ryan had shaved him, though Jeremy had never thought about it before today.   
  
All that exposed and pure flesh on display, ready to receive any mark.   
  
He all but threw himself into the seat, bouncing with growing excitement as Alex rounded off his call too Geoff and put his car in drive.   
  
“Anxious?” Alex asked and Jeremy answered in that new tone of voice that Ryan pulled from him.   
  
“Interested.” Jeremy was truthful. It seemed to be the best route. The thought actually made him look at Alex as the gent drove. Jeremy joined the Fakes with his Best Friends. Trevor and Matt had stayed in B-team but Jeremy had moved up to the main team. Jeremy had known when he did that he’d have to get used to some strong personalities.

Los Santos wasn’t a town you could run a criminal empire in with ethics intact. As a hit-man, Jeremy hadn’t been looking for ethics anyway. But still, the main team had surprised him. Adrenaline Junkie Michael was the most tame by far, burning things down just because he can, rough fights and even rougher sex. Jeremy had seen Michael break his own finger, “For the rush Lil’J, wanna try?” before Michael had swung with his bat, breaking three of Jeremy’s.

Gavin's own Brand of Fun was disturbing on a whole other level. B-team was told never to play social with Gavin but Jeremy had gotten the full warning when he’d joined main. Geoff had sat him down and dished out the Gavin rules. Do not question his techniques, Never tell him secrets that are harmful to yourself, Do not express doubt in front of him, maintain a confident projection when around him, especially when your alone with him.

Ryan's Serial killing hobby was easier by far. He got his fill on the job and every few weekends he'd take one off, go away and come back refreshed and raring to go. Geoff maintained them all, keeping them from going to far, getting off track and exposing themselves or reigning them in before they hurt themselves or the crew. But Alex was a mystery.

“Alex?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you going to watch too?” Coward, Jeremy berated himself, asking a different question than the one he intended. Still it was one he did want an answer too. Watching Ryan felt… Private. Not something he wanted to share.

“No, no.” Alex spoke slowly as was his habit, “You can watch that mess yourself. I’ll stay upstairs.”

“Upstairs?” Jeremy repeated confused. He had assumed this would be done at the unconscious man’s home, just like the pictures.

“Ryan’s got a place just on the border of the desert. Remote, cut off. It’s a house, mostly, actually acts as a safehouse when there's a need. But the Basement is all Ryan's. Edgar’s hole, we call it.” Alex explained, eyes on the road and not watching Jeremy's expressions as he soaked up all this information.

“Ryan's mentioned that name… Edgar… A few times here and there.” Jeremy probed, sneaking a sly glance at Alex.

“I think Ryan will introduce you to Edgar. He’ll be mighty put out if I ruin it for him.” Alex dodged the question and snuck a look of his own, “If you want to back out, just say so.”

Jeremy was genuinely surprised by the offer, “No!” he answered more harshly than he meant, flushing and stammering to correct it, “I-I know I should be scared or creeped out but-”

Alex reached over without taking his eye off the road to pet Jeremy's thigh comfortingly, “It’s ok to be curious about the other side Jeremy. All our lives we’ve been told what to do, what’s possible, what’s right. This crew is one place where no one is going to judge you for trying to walk the other side. What’s wrong for society seems to be what’s right for us… And remember, you CAN walk away anytime you like.”

Jeremy was comforted by his words and pet Alex’s hand before looking out the window. As he watched the scenery change he could only imagine what lay at the end of this ride. He hoped he knew himself at the end of it.   



	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Commissions are slow ATM so here you guys go!  
> Warning for Torture ahead  
> if you want a story by me check out my commissions!  
> http://nescamonster.tumblr.com/post/179269394244/nescamonster-commission-open-due-to-financial

“Here we are.” Alex announced as he pulled up to a fairly average driveway. The house sat, unassuming, normal, no hint of horrors within. Jeremy was almost disappointed. He expected a rundown farmhouse falling to pieces and instead he got a well kept place with plants in pots on the veranda for crying out loud.

Jeremy opened his door and put a foot out before he noticed that Alex hadn’t moved, “Aren’t you coming in?”

Alex snorted, reclining his chair and pulling out his phone to play with in this new relaxed position, “I’ll come in once you guys are settled downstairs. I’ll cook something nice for you.”

Jeremy got out fully, made braver by the promise that Alex wouldn’t be far, but would also give them space. He wasn’t quite sure what was inside but he knew he needed to find out. The front door was unlocked so Jeremy let himself right in, looking into a room lit only by sunlight, no evidence that Ryan was even there.

“Ryan?” Jeremy called, coming in and closing the door behind him, “You home yet?”

No answer. Jeremy's eyes were drawn immediately to the basement door but he pulled himself away, searching the house instead. Two floors, four bedrooms, two bathrooms and a kitchen later he was in front of the basement door. He put a hand on the doorknob but thought better of it, taking out his phone to text Ryan instead.

**J: I’m here. Where are you?**

He drummed his fingers on his thigh, turning, putting his back towards the basement door as he waited for Ryan's answer. He hoped Alex had the right spot, and an anxious energy starting to build in him, a low annoyance that had no outlet.

His phone vibrated, a video file that he opened immediately.

The light was dim, illumination from a single bulb lighting up a King Size bed, white silk sheets that gleamed as the man on the bed shifted. The ropes were gone now, instead cuffs linked his wrists and a chain went from the connectors between cuffs to a steel bar embedded in the wall above the headboard. The man lay on his back, his hands slightly elevated, unable to rest on the bed due to the tightness of the chain.

Jeremy’s breath caught, watching as the man shifted, gaining consciousness. As he did so, the man gave a little groan, starting to blink as the drugs faded from his system, twisting, confusion on his face. Something about the images, the vulnerability of the Person on the bed made Jeremy’s mouth water.

“Wha-? Where?” the man muttered and his attention caught on his bound wrists. He gave an experimental tug that did nothing but hurt his wrists, metal cutting him. He wriggled back so he could sit up, chest starting to heave, fear quickening his breath as his eyes tried to cut through the dark. Jeremy knew instinctively it was futile,no way Ryan would allow anything to show but what he wanted the Prisoner to see.

“Hello? Hello?” The man started to call and Jeremy bit back an unexpected snigger. Why do they call out? They awake in some sort of binding and no memory how they got there. Did they expect a friendly face?

“Is anyone there? Hello?” His voice was rising and the prisoner tried to yank on the chain with both hands to no avail, his fear turning into anger in his voice, “Hello?! Why am I here!”

Jeremy blinked as the camera panned to show a dark stair leading out of a basement area. Then the video ended. Jeremy swallowed hard, about to put his phone in his pocket but thought better of it, putting it down on the kitchen counter and shucking off his jacket, holsters and sungasses. Now it was obvious that the bed was never in their home but in the basement.

Dressed in just his jeans, belt and shirt he knocked at the basement door instantly feeling silly for doing so. He turned the doorknob and found this was also unlocked, sticking his head in first and seeing nothing but the bed from the video and pictures.

The Prisoner was kneeling now, only in boxers, hands twisted around the chain as if that would give him more leverage to rip a solid rebar from a cement wall. He had paused when Jeremy had knocked, that was clear and he was squinting trying to see into the dark with the light in his eyes. It was a secret thrill inside him, when Jeremy realized that he could see the man, but due to Ryan's careful lighting, he couldn’t be seen.   
  
“H-Hello?! I’m down here! I’m trapped! Help me!” The Prisoner called, sitting taller, still trying to see who was there. Jeremy couldn’t look away, mesmerized by the body before him. A perfect blank canvas...

“Who are you? Are you the one who put me here?” Demanded the prisoner as Jeremy stepped into the light where he could be seen. Jeremy eyed the man over, his face coloring by the moment, embarrassed to be alone with a mostly naked man. He wet his lips and started to look about for Ryan, but now he was in the light, the room around was hard to concentrate on.   
  
“N-no. I didn’t put you here.” Jeremy said as he looked about. He looked back to the bed and felt his confusion pull at his mouth, wondering where Ryan could be and where all those tools that had been in the pictures had gone.   
  
“Who are you then? Can you help me? Find a key or something!” The Prisoner asked next, jingling his wrist for emphasis. Jeremy’s breath was becoming more ragged by the minute, anxiety and desire swirling within him. He took a step back, almost out of the small circle of light with his hands up.   
  
“Oh no. I can’t. Didn’t he- Haven’t you seen anyone yet?” Ryan sent that video moments ago, he had to be here and yet… He felt alone. With such a vulnerable, helpless prey. That thought shocked him, but the prisoner didn’t notice, losing his temper.   
  
“Seen anyone?! I just woke up in a god dam sex dungeon! If you’re not the asshole behind it then I’d like to fucking leave before they do show up!” Jeremy backed up a bit more as the prisoner shouted, scared Ryan would think he was starting without him. His reasons might not have been known, but the Prisoner saw he had scared Jeremy in some way, changing tactics. 

He settled down on the bed and gave Jeremy the best puppy dog eyes he had seen in quite some time, “Please. I’m sorry I yelled,” the Prisoner spoke soft but quickly, eyes darting around every now and again but always coming back to Jeremy, “Are you a prisoner too? If you help me, we can fight whoever this jerk is together. Please.”

His soft tone coaxed Jeremy back into the light, calmer now. He was curious about what the Prisoner thought he could offer. Still wondering where Ryan was, but tempted to see what a bruise would look like on that skin…

“Please, My name’s Brian… What’s yours?” Jeremy raised his eyes from his body to his face when they named themselves. A name made him uncomfortable, suddenly Brian didn’t seem like a canvas but a person. A Person restrained and scared, with a right to a life. Brian hadn’t done anything, didn’t know anything. There was no reason for his captivity.

“I-I don’t know if I should be talking to you…” Jeremy said doubtfully, now glancing towards where he knew the stairs were, musing if there was a second exit. Would Ryan be back soon? If he would be angry if Jeremy started without him, how furious would he be if Jeremy let his prey- Brian, go?

“No one’s here. Just you and me.” Brian was quick to try and assure him but his words had an opposite effect. Jeremy shivered, suddenly recalling what Ryan said to his victims. It shored up his resolve and Jeremy found he could turn back and see a Canvas once again. It brought a hard smile to his face, his voice confident.

“Your right. It is just us.” This is why Jeremy was here. To learn from the best, “Give me a moment and I’ll just fetch us a friend.”

“No need. I’m here.” Ryan's voice was welcome as he stepped into the light. Jeremy could hardly believe the change. Always, Ryan was vagabond when he did his job. Now, he wore no makeup, no mask. His chest was bare, his only clothes dark shorts and his hair was its natural blonde, tied back in a short ponytail. 

He looked so  _ Ryan.  _

Ryan gave him an approving look before he turned his attention to the Prisoner, turning Jeremy's eye back to him as well, “For a moment, I thought you would release him.”

“No of course not Ry-” Jeremy shut up the moment Ryan raised a hand, looking at him in warning, eyes glinting dangerously. Somehow it was more chilling receiving that look from Ryan than it ever was from Vagabond. Jeremy expected Vagabond to be dangerous and Violent, but Ryan had been nothing but a friend since they had officially met.

“What’s going on?! Are you two in this together? What do you want from me?” Brian demanded answers from the pair, frightened by their interaction. Ryan’s face was kind as he turned from Jeremy too his prisoner.   
  
“Hush, Edgar. I’ll be with you in just a minute.” He said polite but dismissive as he walked closer to Jeremy, herding him to stand at the corner of the bed. Brian raised himself up, agitated. Jeremy glanced at him then back to Ryan, the gent filling his sight as he leant in.   
  
“Where’s Al?” Ryan asked in a whisper, his face so close to Jeremy's own he felt Ryan's breath on his ear. 

“He said he’d stay upstairs.” Jeremy replied, his heart thudding so loud he was sure Ryan could hear it as he felt Ryan put a hand on his hip, pulling him close against his body, another on his neck, cupping his jaw.

“Do you mind sitting back just to begin with? Just watch me and you’ll get the idea.” Ryan moved back to meet Jeremy’s eyes, waiting until he saw understanding in them. Jeremy was a little overwhelmed but he managed a nod, receiving a pet on his cheek in return.

With Jeremy now a silent witness, Ryan could turn from him to his new Edgar, cunning mind bursting with options on how to start. He had to make sure it was memorable for Jeremy but not intense enough to make him run.

Ryan paced in a half circle, his gaze piercing and uncomfortable as he analysed the man curled up against the headboard; considering him like a sculptor would fresh clay. The man’s skin was clear and supple, untouched and unmarred by scaring. Ready to mold into a shape of Ryan's desire. 

The room remained silent under Ryan’s steady gaze until his Prisoner broke under his stare, spitting like a cornered cat, “What the fuck do you want from me?!”   
  
“Edgar, Edgar, Edgar…” Ryan begun, drawing it out, heightening the anticipation, good and bad for Jeremy and Edgar respectively, “I want many things from you but we’ll start at the beginning.” Best to get Edgar responding to his name and introduce both men to the rules of his world. “I am your king and this is my loyal subject and apprentice. Edgar, you shall address me as Your Majesty or Sire. You shall call my subject, Sir.”   
  
The conditioning of Edgar was very important. Normally, Ryan took this part slower, so Edgar's new role adequately sunk in bone deep, however, today Jeremy was with him and, he’d take no chances with Edgar convincing the man his name had ever been anything but Edgar. Ryan had seen Jeremy’s earlier reaction, he wouldn’t allow the chance of Jeremy feeling any  _ sympathy _ for his most recent victim...

“Fuck you sickos! I ain’t calling you jackshit! My name's fucking Bri-!” Edgar didn't get to finish. His anger morphing into fear as Ryan lunged forward. The man’s larger body pressed closely into his leg and side, his hot breath breathing down his victim’s ear, lips almost touching he was so close. Strong fingers exerting an uncomfortable pressure on Edgar's chin that cemented his skull in place and trapped him in his captor’s gaze. 

Ryan knew crowding into personal space would trigger a defensive response. Just as he knew he could use that against his chosen Edgar. He pinned the man with his weight, his body close, like a lover as he drawled out in a soft, low caress, “Brian huh? Is that the name you want me to call you? Brian...” Ryan’s gaze left the man’s eyes, as he traced his nose down the his neck to his shoulder and then back up again, breath softly exhaling onto clean skin. 

“I can moan that name to you,  _ Brian _ , if you wish” he continued, his lips coming to rest just over the man’s earlobe, his words thick and heady, but the hand tracing its way down “ _ Brian’s” _ chest and navel towards his crotch showed the words for the threat they were. “Is that what you want?  _ Brian _ ” he asked, voice just barely above a whisper but oh so loud in the deafening silence of the room. Jeremy’s breath was locked in his throat, gaze wide as he watched, captivated by Ryan’s serpent tongue as it manipulated his prey. 

Tears welled in Brian’s eyes as his body began to shake in fear, “N-n-no! No! Don’t touch me! Please! Don’t touch me!” he blubbered. Ryan chuckled, a deep, throaty thing as his lips quirked up and his eyes sharpened cruelly, “No? Are you Edgar then?” he asked, his hand lifting from skin though still dangerously hovering over crotch. “Edgar is sooo…  _ uncultured. _ I could never debase myself like that.” the message was clear. Edgar wouldn’t be touched. Well…. Not like  _ that  _ at least. 

“Please! Yes! Yes! I’m Edgar! My name is Edgar!” he cried out, tears now falling, his breath shaking, fear running rampant in his eyes. 

At the admission Ryan removed the weight of himself off the man, his hands moving off chin and away from crotch, one coming up to gently pat the crying man’s cheek “Good boy Edgar” he praised as one would a dog, before fully moving up and away. Edgar always started out timid and shy and fearful, but in the end, Edgar always worshiped him like a King.

King’s didn’t need to Rape anyone of course. They could always find a willing bed-mate to play with. But Ryan found the mere threat was more unsettling to fresh faced Edgar’s than the loudest chainsaw. And perhaps, he may have wanted to show off to his new witness, shooting him a look now to see how he had reacted to the display.

Jeremy himself was surprised, and it showed on his face; the move having been overall unexpected, even if it was captivating. He had expected Ryan to respond to Edgar’s insistence with violence, but the way he had pinned Edgar was almost obscene. He didn’t know what to feel, this was a side of Ryan he had never seen at all. If during his previous experiences during official business, Ryan made the interviewee the center of his world, now, here, in the basement, this man was the center of Ryan’s universe. 

Ryan could see Jeremy’s reaction was, at least, not negative, and so he turned back to Edgar. He leant in and wrapped a hand around his throat, just to feel him swallow against his palm, needing to check the message was implanted firmly “So. Let’s try this one more time. What is your name?”   


“...E-Edgar.” The prisoner said quietly, the frightened eyes meeting Ryan's sparking temptingly with terror.

“Atta boy.” He said happily and pulled himself away from the cowered man, shifting outside the illuminated area. With him gone, Jeremy tilted his head, curious when he saw Edgar’s eyes well over with tears. He was amazed at how quickly Ryan had got this man to change his name. Ryan hadn’t even started to hurt him yet. Obviously Jeremy had a lot to learn.

Ryan was humming cheerfully in the dark.   
  
“Ok Edgar, we’ll start you out slow alright? Ease you into this.” His voice came over the sound of items being sorted through. Over the clink of metal, the thud of heavy items moving, Edgar looked to Jeremy who had obediently stayed where he’d been placed.   
  
“Please. Please let me go.” He begged softly, hands clasped together around his chain like a prayer. With his pleading eyes on Jeremy, the lad found himself drawn in, taking a step forward, leaning towards Edgar, trying to see deeper into his eyes. Though Edgar leant as far back from him as he could, Jeremy still searched. But all he saw was hazel.

They both yelled out in surprise, but only one in pain as with a mighty crack, Ryan struck Edgar's shoulder with a ping pong paddle. Jeremy moved back immediately, but Edgar had nowhere to go as Ryan brought it down a second time. Ryan put a knee on the bed, grabbing a handful of Edgar's hair with his free hand, yanking it back painfully so Edgar's neck was arched over Ryan's shoulder, his back to Ryan's chest. Ryan's leveled the paddle at Jeremy accusingly, Jeremy putting up his hands in a subconscious defensive gesture.

“Bad Apprentice. Did I not command you to stay in your place?” Ryan spoke with a royal authority, and before Jeremy could answer, Ryan was looking down at Edgar, pressing the paddle to under his jaw, against his windpipe, “And you. What did I say? You address him as Sir.” 

Edgar choked on a cry, trying to nod his head but caught in that vice grip. That wasn’t good enough for Ryan who growled wordlessly and struck with the paddle, a bright red half circle appearing on Edgar's abdomen, the paddle already at his throat again.

“Use your words. Speak.” Ryan ordered of his Edgar. Jeremy felt beads of sweat form and fall as he watched, enchanted by the power Ryan demanded without having to raise his voice. Ryan commanded here, there was no doubt of that.   
  
“Yes!” Edgar shrieked out, his neck straining, the hits aching. He shouted in pain as Ryan struck him again in the same spot, harder, the red already turning a darker shade.   


“Yes what?” Ryan insisted calmly, glaring Edgar into submission.   
  
“Yes Sire!” Ryan let the head go and Edgar flinched away from him as quickly as he could, straining his arms and the chain to be as far as possible. Anger clearly coursed through Edgar’s body at having to submit like that, but it was also clear he was going to swallow his pride in order to remain untouched.

Ryan's focus had changed however, getting off the bed to point the paddle at Jeremy. Jeremy fought his bodies preservation reaction to run at the look he was given. His body screamed at him to get down, to flee, but he stood as tall as he could, eyes respectfully lowered but refusing to be scared away.

“Obey.” Ryan warned only once, the paddle lowering to his side. Jeremy nodded, looking up more fully as Ryan ghosted closer. A hand on his stomach pressed him back, Ryan pushing him into the shadows before sliding the hand to his hip to stop him. Ryan came close once again, chin over Jeremy's shoulder, looking up at the stairs as he whispered to Jeremy, “Why did you move?”

They were nothing but dark silhouettes to Edgar, the dark coating them in a privacy Jeremy was unused too as he answered just as quietly, “I’m sorry, I was just trying to see what you do.” He hoped desperately that Ryan would not send him away.

Something was awakening inside him, and he knew if he left now, he would be chasing something to fill that void for the rest of his life. It was another world down here in the small space with only himself, Ryan and Edgar. And yet, it felt as if it were everything. He needed to see more, like he needed to breath air.

Perhaps Ryan sensed that, stepping back a half step, cupping Jeremy's cheek to make him look up at him. Ryan smiled knowingly, a thumb stroked just under Jeremy's eye as Ryan spoke softly, “So anxious Jeremy… Eager…” Ryan lowered his head slightly, eyes flicking between Jeremy's, capturing his full attention, hypnotizing him with touch and voice, “You’re a sniper. You are used to focusing on things from a distance. Here, you have to watch close. I have faith you will see it, we just need to bring it out.”

“Bring what-” 

“Hush.” Ryan pressed the paddle to Jeremy's lips to silence him, “He’ll shine bright for us, never fear. Even with his false submission, I will bring it out. He’s watching, waiting, planning on taking his light from us.” Ryan threw a filthy look over his shoulder but when he looked back to Jeremy he was smiling again, “I’ll get the Light out, Don’t worry."

As Ryan shifted away to prowl towards the bed, Jeremy found he had little worry but pleasing his friend. He wanted Ryan to smile at him again, wanted his praise. Jeremy moved back to his spot, watching intently, hoping that Ryan would call on him soon.

Edgar had been twisting his wrists, trying to pull them out but stopping when Ryan moved back into the light. Jeremy saw Edgar brace himself for punishment, only for Ryan to gesture one handed, back to his low commanding tone, “Lay on your stomach.” 

Edgar’s face drained of color, “Why?”

The paddle came down sudden and hard, a glancing blow on his calf. A warning.

“Stomach.” Ryan repeated, his tone warning that he would not be asking nicely again, “Now.”

Edgar had reached his limit; he would not present himself in such a vulnerable position easily. Ryan smiled as he saw the resolve harder in Edgar's face. This was the excuse he needed, he wanted to take Jeremy further down this hole with him, and Edgar was presenting the opportunity.

“No.” Edgar spat, eyes desperately wide at his own defiance. Ryan chuckled once before he lunged. Jeremy’s hands went to his mouth to prevent noise as he watched Ryan spring, all predator in his poise.

Thwack, thwack! The paddle hit twice, once on his side, another against his cheek. Ryan stopped himself from losing control, putting a knee on the bed once more and twirling the paddle in his outstretched hand, ready to bring it down.

“Stomach now or I’ll get mean and the beating won’t stop until you’ve obeyed like a good Edgar.” Ryan gave one last warning. Jeremy held his breath, looking between the threat of the paddle and the Edgar who swallowed hard and forced his eyes away from Ryan to the bed.

“Please Sire, if you could just tell me-” He had been warned. Blows rained down onto every inch of exposed skin. Edgar yelped and shouted out uselessly. He tried to tuck his head under his arms but that left his shoulders, back and legs to be brutalized by Ryan's wicked Paddle.

The sounds of the paddle hitting flesh almost drowned out Edgar's cries. Jeremy was captivated, not just by the beautiful way Edgar's skin was showing each hit in a dark raised welt, but by the move of muscle in Ryan's chest and back as he swung his arm down with all the strength in his body. He would not look away now, not for all the money in Los Santos.

“That’s it Edgar! Sing! Sing for Us! Such a beautiful song!” Ryan crowed in his element, but it wasn’t Edgar's song but Ryan's maniacal laughing that enchanted the watcher by the corner. Heavy, bruising blows kept falling as Ryan reminded Edgar of the rules, “Get on your stomach Edgar if you want it to stop!”

“Stop! Stop! Stop!” Edgar begged through his sobs, but no mercy was forthcoming. Jeremy gasped as he saw blood bead behind one hit, smeared across Edgar's thigh with another. Ryan would either get him to submit, or would kill him it seemed.

Edgar came to the same realization and started trying to stretch out while under assault. When Ryan saw he was attempting to obey, his arm faltered, breathing heavy, sweat of exertion dotting his brow and his shoulders. Free from free attack, Edgar sobbed as he stretched out on his stomach, his head pressed against the mattress to hide his despair.

Ryan consciously slowed his breathing back down, twirling the paddle once more to hide from Edgar and apprentice the trembling of muscle. He looked to Jeremy, eyes smoldering s he took in the lad, his wide eyes above hands still pressed to his mouth. So innocent.

Ryan gestured Jeremy close, tossing the paddle to the end of the bed as he did so. Jeremy obediently came to his side, hands sliding from his mouth, eyes respectful as he tried to tear them away from the black welts all over Edgar, to the King who had called him.

“See? Edgar, you can make this so much easier on yourself if you just obey.” Ryan noted to his victim, trailing his fingers from nape down to the small of their back before he smiled up at Jeremy, “Now. You can assist me with the next part.”

Jeremy's hopeful eyes and smile made Ryan’s heart swell. He had chosen well for an apprentice this time it seemed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get intense in the Edgar Hole

“Come here.” Ryan ordered gesturing Jeremy close to Edgar. Jeremy obediently stepped up to Ryan's side, his warm arm falling over Jeremy's shoulders, pointing out the welts on the cowed man’s back. Edgar was shuddering, breath hitching quietly in silent sobs that were unnoticed by the two men admiring Ryan's work.

Red and black marks dotted all over Edgar's body, from over his back, to on his sides, and coloring the downy edges of his thighs. Jeremy felt his hand tingle with need and he had to fight down the urge to trace one. He glanced at Ryan and cautiously extended his finger to hover above a particularly large half crescent, silently asking permission.

“Of course you can touch.” Ryan smiled affectionately, pleased with Jeremy’s subservience towards him. Ryan's broken psyche was slipping, he was believing the lie he told himself, that here he was a King. And he was evaluating Jeremy as a possible knight for his kingdom.

Jeremy closed the gap between his fingertips and the welt that had drawn his eye. Muscle jumped under his touch as he gently stroked the shape of it, already dark. Ryan pressed against his back, drawing his attention to another, pointing out a hit strong enough that the skin had split. Blood had beaded up, Jeremy automatically reaching to touch it.

Ryan stopped him with a hushed word, “Wait.” 

Ever obedient, Jeremy retracted his hand as Ryan shifted past him, now leaning over Edgar, looking back at Jeremy to lock eyes. Ryan smirked and leant further down, licking over the welt, collecting the blood in one long stroke upon his tongue. Edgar bucked immediately, shouting objections. Ryan grabbed the back of his neck in a hard grip and shoved his face down into the mattress.

“Edgar, Stay still!” He ordered, motioning to Jeremy to touch another mark as he continued to soothe their victim, “I was only having a small taste. Calm down, jeez.”

Ryan rolled his eyes with a huff, indicating to Jeremy how much he thought Edgar was overreacting. Jeremy’s mouth tugged in a smile, but he was busy studying Ryan's work. He explored Edgar's body with fingers and eye’s, amazed at how quickly the pattern of his skin had changed from smooth and pink to raised red and black. He looked back up at Ryan, eyes shining in a dangerously tempting way to the gent. Instinctively he knew how to address Ryan appropriately, the words no act from his lips.   
  
“Sire, is that what you meant?” he asked, this euphoria of changing a healthy person to a damaged one. The sense of ultimate power that was washing through him, the thrill of coming out on top for once in this messed up world they lived in. Ryan nodded but when Jeremy tried to see Edgar's face where it was pinned against the mattress, Ryan drew him back with a steady hand.

“Ah-ah. Patience. Were only starting and I don’t wish for you to be disappointed.” Jeremy already looked disappointed at Ryan's words making the gent laugh, putting a finger under Jeremy's chin, lifting it up, “You may help me with the preparation. Hold him down.”

Jeremy felt strange. He almost felt as if his self, the person he was, had been backed out into a corner of his mind. Intense, Alex had called it. Jeremy understood that now. With just his voice and his domineering stance, Ryan had chased normal, silly, fun Jeremy away to make room for something more. A darker, harder, more malicious Jeremy. One who was fascinated by the artist as he painted his blank slate in pain and confusion.

One who had no qualms swapping places with Ryan, sitting atop Edgar, a knee against his back and his hands on the back of his head to push him down into the mattress. He had done distasteful things in his life of course, but there was always a reason, whether personal or financial. This was different. This time they were hurting Edgar simply because they could, and no one could stop them.

Was this why Ryan took weekends to himself on occasion? That killing in crew life wasn’t as satisfying as this was? And the light Ryan talked about… the eyes… when would Jeremy see what Ryan meant?

“Here we are.” Ryan returned with two items.One a bottle of moisturizer and the other a paint scraper. Jeremy raised a brow at the odd combination, unsure what Ryan was planning with them as he climbed back onto the bed and waved Jeremy off. 

Ryan straddled Edgar, settling his weight on Edgar's ass with his knees on either side. Jeremy knelt on the bed beside him, hands on his knee’s, reminding himself to breath since he was watching Ryan with such rapt attention. Ryan didn’t seem to mind such close observation however, humming as he put the paint scraper under his armpit so he had use of both hands to put moisturizer on his palm.

Jeremy wasn’t sure what Ryan was doing, he could only guess. The feeling was, Intense, just as Alex described it. Watching, knowing this would only end in blood but no idea how… Jeremy loved it.

Edgar flinched wordlessly when Ryan touched him with gentle and sure strokes that spread the moisturizer over Edgar's back. Ryan's skillful fingers worked the lotion into the skin, being careful around the welts. As he worked, Ryan hummed deep in his throat, eyes on his task, heedless of the uncomfortable way Edgar held his body stiff beneath him. Jeremy was oddly relaxed by the scene, settling into a more comfortable sit, hands on his legs, observing.

It was with an animalistic anger Jeremy hadn’t expected, that he bared his teeth and clenched his fists when Edgar ruined the moment by speaking.

“Please sire, what are you doing to me?” Edgar stammered, head turned the opposite side to Jeremy so he didn’t see the rage aimed at him. Jeremy could have killed him right now for shattering the moment like glass. Ryan, however, lifted a hand to gesture at Jeremy, urging him to calm down before replacing it back on Edgar.   


“Edgar, I’m not doing anything  _ to  _ you. I’m doing  _ this _ for me...You see, I am a King with many worries upon my shoulders. Many stresses. I have people who depend on me. Who look up to me.” Ryan began, his voice as soothing as his hands, Jeremy calming, almost wishing he could trade places with the helpless Edgar. Just to have that extreme focus on himself.   
  
“I need something. It builds within me. And you can help me. You can help me relax, just as I’m doing now to you. Think of it as my own kind of self care.” His words stayed gentle and calm, almost hypnotic, Jeremy starting to drift again as he watched Ryan's hands work on tense muscles, forcing them to relent under his fingers. Jeremy slouched once more, listening to Ryan's voice and watching as more lotion was added and rubbed into skin.    
  
Edgar stayed stiff under Ryan’s expert massage.

“Don’t worry so much Edgar. I’m not going to Fuck you, I promise.” The words were accompanied by a chuckle, Edgar giving a croaking cry at the word Fuck. Ryan laughed and leant forwards, pushing his weight into his hands, kneading the flesh that rolled as he put his face near Edgar's neck. Jeremy swallowed hard as Ryan locked eyes with him and suddenly he knew the focus was off Edgar and on him, sitting by watching so quietly. He swallowed hard, locked in Ryan's gaze. Ryan’s next words, delivered so close to Edgar's ears was meant for Jeremy, he was sure of it.   
  
“Not unless you beg me too.” Ryan stage whispered, having both Edgar and Jeremy shuddering for different reasons. Ryan sat upon more on Edgar back, releasing Jeremy from his gaze so the lad could shuffle and adjust himself as needed beside them. Ryan turned his eyes to his work, patting down Edgar's back, loving the roll of unmarked skin, the smoothness of it.   
  
“But I am going to hurt you Edgar.” He said, the words said casually like a invitation to a meal, “I’m going to hurt you then I’m going to soothe you. Hurt you, soothe you, hurt you, soothe you. And so on until you're begging me to let you go.”   
  
“Please your majesty, let me go now!” Edgar begged frantically and Ryan laughed once more.   
  
“Oh no, no, no. You think you mean that but you don’t. My subject here is curious. He wants to see you as I do. How’s your back feeling now? Ready to get started?” Ryan asked pleasantly, Edgar mouthed denials but Ryan ignored them. He looked to Jeremy who had straightened up like a dog spotting a food dish. Jeremy longed for Ryan to show him, quivering in excitement that it might finally be time.

“Come, Let me help you.” Ryan encouraged softly, waving a lavish hand through the air temptingly, “Don’t worry about a thing, I am going to help you every step.” With Ryan's coaxing, Jeremy shifted closer, watching as Ryan pressed a finger into Edgar's back, pressing down hard and pulling down. Jeremy was fascinated with how the white line quickly filled with pink in Ryan's wake.

“Please, whatever your going to do-” Edgar started to beg only for Ryan to tap him on the head and shush him.

“Hush Edgar. I’m teaching here.” Ryan told him before smiling at Jeremy, “See, Edgar is perfect for our needs. Just the right amount of fat over lean muscle. Beautiful.” Jeremy nodded, his face lighting up in a smile, staying quiet to respect his teacher. Ryan looked into Jeremy’s eyes and saw the way they lit up in his joy, having to quickly turn his head aside, watching the scrapper twirl in his own fingers to continue his lesson.

“I’ll have you know my lucky potential apprentice, that the skin is absorbent.” Ryan lectured as he placed the scraper on the back of Edgar’s neck, where his back slopped up from the join, “Thus why Edgar here has such a lovely shine to his back now I’ve rubbed moisturizer into his lucky pours.” 

Edgar hissed uncomfortably as Ryan pressed down on the paint scraper, dragging it down in a straight line. Ryan ignored it, talking as he continued the slow drag, “For our canvas to be perfect, we must rid him of all the grime and dead skin cells left within. This, is the most… well, fun way we can do so.”

Fun was a word for it. Jeremy was rapt; the red irritated skin the scrapper left behind, the sound of metal scraping flesh, the roll of muscle and fat as the scrapper moved. It was all fascinating to him. How thoroughly Ryan worked his victim, how in depth he went to have a perfect Edgar. Jeremy was impressed, looking to Ryan's face to see the look of concentration on his face as he prepared what he needed.

When he reached the small of Edgar’s back, Ryan gave a little inward flick, taking the scraper from skin along with the what he had collected. He turned it over to show Jeremy a line of grey moisturizer along the metal end, blue eyes meeting his above it.

“White when rubbed into the body, grey when it emerges, thick with all the muck in Edgar’s pores. This here Dearest boy, is everything we don’t need in our way. How can we get the cleanest, purest blood-”

“BLOOD?!” Edgar bucked hard at that, pulling at his handcuffs. Ryan growled, smashing his face back down, but this time Edgar would not be silenced. He screamed unintelligibly into the mattress, continuing to kick and flail. That wouldn’t have been a problem but Ryan’s experienced eye went to the cuffs, spotting blood where Edgar was making metal cut into him.

He tossed the tool in his hand to the bed and got up, gesturing Jeremy away. Jeremy scuttled back immediately, watching as Ryan searched his tool trays for something, a gag already in hand. Jeremy tilted his head, eyes furrowed as he looked closer at the gag, noticing it had a ring tied to it the size of a golf ball but hollow. Ryan made a sound of discovery and grabbed something silver and thin from a tray, coming back to the bed and his victim.

“HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME!” Edgar was shouting as he’d comE up on his knees and was yanking at his handcuffs. His desperate eyes fell on Jeremy once more, “PLEASE HELP ME! WHY WON’T YOU HELP ME?!”

Jeremy expected Ryan to pounce but instead Ryan had paused, pressing what looked to be a spike tip against his lips, now looking at Jeremy himself. Jeremy looked between them, Edgar repeating his plea as the Lad worked out he was meant to have an answer.

And to his own surprise he did.

He now knew that he’d been feeling off for a long time. What he did, stealing, blackmailing, threatening, killing… It was all empty to him. Nothing brought him satisfaction. Nothing filled the void. Jeremy had been carrying a black hole inside him that had been sucking everything into it.

His partners, Trevor and Matt, they were like family and they had had enough of his mood swings. Everyday just he was more and more frustrated. More reckless. More angry. It was beginning to bubble over, causing him to lash out in unexpectedly.

That was until, he saw Ryan work. Stood outside the door as Ryan made hardened criminals scream. Stepped inside the door to see it for himself. The blood, the mutilation, the artwork; everything felt, better, in that room with that Artist. 

That King.

Ryan was not empty. Ryan was full. Full of a light he claimed to see in others eyes. Now Jeremy looked into Edgar's eyes, yearning for this to be his answer, be what would calm him, would tame him. And so, he finally saw it.

Edgar stared at him pleadingly, pain, fear, hopelessness all shining like a beacon from his eyes. 

It was everything Jeremy wanted it to be. It drew him in, crowding Edgar against the bed frame without thought, leering into his eyes until Edgar turned his head away and closed them. 

Jeremy struck him across the face, turning it back with the force of his hit, seizing his chin to hold him there. The fear ramped up and the Light grew brighter to Jeremy’s mind's eye.

“He is my teacher. I wouldn’t stop his lesson for the world pal.” Jeremy assured him, finding a friendly disturbing tone all on his own, “You are  _ just  _ what I need. I see it now. I see what you were hiding from me.” A psychopathic grin of his very own, “I  _ want  _ it.” he whispered, like a bolt of lightning the rage flew down his arm and he slammed Edgar's head against the bed frame, “GIVE IT TO ME!”

Released, it could not be stopped. Again he cracked Edgar's head, again his darker self demanded more. So Jeremy gave into it, wanting blood, wanting light, wanting to rip Edgar to shreds to get it. He smashed Edgar's head against the bed twice more before hands pulled him away.

“Ah-ah” Ryan scolded firmly, but the rage was loose and Jeremy couldn’t reign it in. He swung at the one trying to stop him from his goal, Ryan ducking and coming up fast as lightning. He was the sane one in this moment, using that to his advantage.

Jeremy swung, Ryan deflected. Crack against Jeremy's chin, a clip on Ryan's shoulder. He turned with the hit, kicking out, knocking Jeremy from the bed. Jeremy leapt to his feet from his back, a old move he’d learnt long ago. It didn’t matter how fast he recovered because Ryan was on him.

A hand on his throat, another grabbing the wrist attached to the fist that was coming fro Ryan's face. Ryan slammed him into the basement wall, his face in Jeremy’s, eyes boring into his own, “NO! I make the rules down here!”

Jeremy snarled back, only wanting to cause pain, to hurt, wanting to claw out Ryan's eyes. Ryan huffed and twisted his hand. Jeremy shouted in pain as Ryan casually broke his wrist. The white hot pain of it shot through the rage so when Ryan smacked his head against the wall again, Jeremy's head was cleared.

“You. Obey. Me!” Ryan hissed, this time more satisfied with the response he got. Jeremy's chin jerked down in an assent, the dark Jeremy that he had never known was inside him, retreated back to the dark void from where it came. It recognized Ryan as a threat to his life, and so it returned Jeremy's mind.

Jeremy's heart was racing, air didn’t seem enough. His head throbbed, a headache building, and his wrist was afire with pain. But above all his bodies complaints, Jeremy felt lighter than he had in years. Like the only thing grounding him was Ryan's grip on his throat.

Ryan could see Jeremy was floundering, frowning as he realized perhaps he had drawn it out a little  _ too  _ much. He slowly traced his hand from throat to Jeremy's shoulder, feeling the lads skin under his palm, “Come. Lets get your wrist bound and-”

“NO!” Jeremy didn’t want to leave, didn’t want to return to his real life, “I’ll be good, I’ll behave I promise.”

“Jeremy.” Ryan’s voice had lost its edge, becoming tired, worn,  _ human _ , once more. Jeremy felt tears prick at his eyes at the loss. It was over, he had blown it. Ryan was kicking him out and he’d never return, never find out what it meant.

“Jeremy. We are taking a break. Just a break. I swear, you will come back down here if that's what you wish.” Ryan put both hands on Jeremy's shoulders now, searching his face and smiling, “When we come back down, you can draw the first blood.”

Jeremy pulled away, not believing a word of it. He cradled his broken wrist to his chest and slunk towards the stairs, resigned to his exile. He had destroyed his chances at learning from Ryan, and he mourned the taste of light he had gotten.

Ryan stepped in his way, tall and regal, his eyes sharp as he glared at Jeremy, “Did I dismiss you?” he asked back into his King persona. Jeremy didn’t understand, looking up at him, eyes darting back to the bed where unconscious Edgar lay, than back to the man he gladly called King.

“I-I fucked up sire-” Jeremy begun and fell silent as Ryan took slow deliberate steps towards him, standing practically over him when he spoke again.

“Your only mistake, was pulling away from me.” Ryan told him carefully, grabbing his throat again, yanking his face up so he had to stand on tiptoes so not to choke. Nose inches from Ryan's and eyes boring into his own, “ _ I _ decide when you leave.  _ I _ decide when anyone leaves here. Do you understand me?”

There was only one correct answer, “Yes sire.” 

Ryan smiled, and though he lost no height, he seemed to diminish ever so slightly, “Good. Now. Upstairs we go, going to get some food in your stomach and sleep under your belt.”

Jeremy honestly felt lightheaded as Ryan placed a soft hand on the small of his back and urged him up the stairs and back into the main house. Jeremy blinked, amazed it was still afternoon up here, lazily sunlight filtering in through the windows. He felt as if he’d come back to earth from another world. 

“What did you  **do** ?!” Alex snapped, making Jeremy jump a foot in the air and cringe back into Ryan. Ryan put both hands on Jeremy's shoulder blades, gently but firmly pushing him towards Alex ,who had come around the kitchen bench and looked very angry; Not at Jeremy but at Ryan, “What did you do to him Ryan?”

“Nothing. He got overwhelmed and he struck me.” Ryan walked away from Jeremy, the lad whimpering unintentionally taking a step to follow him only to be stopped by Alec taking him in hand. Jeremy looked at Alex’s face than to Ryan who had gone to the fridge and cracked a can of diet coke, smiling at them, “He knows better now.”

“Ryan I didn’t allow him down there for you to break his-”

“He sees it.” Ryan cut off the parental scolding, leaning down onto the counter, eyes on Jeremy who was subconsciously leant towards him even as Alex pulled him close. Ryan's smile was lazy, his tone confident, “Didn’t you My sweet Prince?”

It was all mixed up in Jeremy's head. The pain, the pleasure, the light… “I-I-I-I-”

“Oh dear.” Ryan chuckled darkly amused as he had another sip of diet coke and pushed himself off the counter, “It seems I broke him.”

“Fuck.” Alex swore, ignoring the Psychotic Killer laughing to himself in the kitchen, pushing Jeremy over to the living room and into the couch. Jeremy sat, a dazed expression on his face, looking around for his King. Alex pressed a palm to his cheek, making him focus, “Jeremy, look at me.”

Alex’s face swum into view, his dark eyes alight with light that had Jeremy coming forward, reaching for Alex’s neck with his good hand. Alex batted it away easily, Jeremy's confused and weakened state making for an easy defense, “No, you don’t want my light Jeremy. I don’t have any.” he coached the lad, knowing his psyche was open and malleable at the moment, “I only have light when She is near me. Focus Jeremy, come on. Come back to me.”

Jeremy blinked, frowning and eyes furrowed as the light winked out in the next blink and it was only Alex there, looking at him with concern. “Al-Alex?” Jeremy stammered and tried to look about again, “The King-”

“ _ Ryan, _ is fixing you some food.” Alex corrected him with a not so subtle hint for Ryan himself. Ryan rolled his eyes and took over the bolognese that had been cooking on the stove. Alex never took his eye’s off Jeremy however, and the lad had more questions, broken wrist be damned.

 

“What is happening to me?” Jeremy asked dimly alarmed, but unable to access the full emotion. His wrist throbbed, his head ached and he was desperate for whatever he’d seen down in that basement. Alex sighed heavily, putting a hand on his shoulder to brace him.

 

“We suspected this might happen. You’re always grumpy after a heist or a hit. Your kill count has been steadily getting higher. Geoff and I were wondering how to approach you. Then you started watching Ryan.” Alex paused as Ryan himself sat down a aid kit and a bowl of pasta on the coffee table, grinning wickedly at Jeremy.

“Yes, watching me, in all my perfection. I thought you were but a plant, but instead you asked me about it.” Ryan’s smile grew wider and he reached out to stroke Jeremy's face, “And you have the gift as well.” he cooed, hissing in pain when Alex smacked his hand before he could touch Jeremy. Jeremy jerked out of the trance he had been falling under, mesmerized by Ryan's voice, by the promise of touch.

“Back off. Give him some room.” Alex scolded the large blonde mercenary.

“Pfft. Sure  _ mum _ .” Ryan drawled and walked back into the kitchen, uncaring about what was unfolding on the couch. Jeremy tried to follow him with his eyes but Alex opened the kit and started working on his wrist. Setting the break got Jeremy's full attention, listening once more as Alex started bandaging.

Alex continued where he had left off as if he’d never been interrupted by Ryan at all, “It’s not enough. Your job, your life. Your partners kicked you out-”

“That was mutual…”Jeremy muttered defensively, Alex speaking over him.

“- and you're only getting angrier. Ryan had no one; he couldn’t tell what he needed until he snapped. For you, we can be here. Me, Geoff, the lads. We’re here for you Jeremy. And Ryan can take you through it.”

“Through WHAT? Can you stop playing the goddamn pronoun game and tell me-”

“You’re a killer, Harry.” Ryan mocked, calling from his place leant over the kitchen bench. For once Jeremy didn’t look at him, but kept his eyes on Alex who had winced. Alex caught Jeremy looking at him and coloured, avoiding his eyes as he worked on his wrist.

“Al?” Jeremy prompted softly, ducking his head to try and catch Alexander's eye, “What does he mean?”

“He means, that you have a need. It doesn’t make you less, or broken. It’s something that just makes you different.” Alex sighed and he met Jeremy's eyes, smiling at him fondly, holding his hurt hand with both of his own, “And we take care of our own Jeremy.”

The newly discovered serial killer believed him.


	5. Bonus: Gavin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With this rewrite i'm attempting to write really from the POV of Jeremy and Ryan only, but since people loved DarkGavin so much I snuck in a little of him here lol  
> WARNING: Suicide thoughts, tendencies and encouragement ahead. PLEASE do not read if anything suicide is a trigger of yours. This is a FICTIONAL Gavin and is an evil son of a bitch.

Gavin watched Michael pace with his phone to his ear. The penthouse was empty of all but them, and Gavin was bored. A dangerous thing for Gavin to be, especially when the only company he had was Michael.   
  
“Ok, sure. Yeah Al, we’re cool. Prob's gonna have a quiet night in.” Michael caught Gavin looking and made a jerking off gesture as he rolled his eyes and answered a question, “Yes, we will behave. You got a lot on your fucking plate and Geoff's not in 'till like what? One am? We’re not assholes.”   
  
Gavin smirked. They absolutely were assholes and it was a sign of how distracted Alex was that he let Michael get away with that. Within moments Michael had hung up and Gavin sat up straight from his slouch, eyes glinting with mischief.   
  
“So, bar?” Michael asked him and chuckled evilly. Gavin jumped to his feet, grabbing his suit jacket to slid on as they headed for the door. Michael picked up his guns from the table, putting them back into holsters and snatched up his wallet. His wolf jacket hung by the door, so he grabbed that as they left the penthouse minutes after Michael got instructions not too.

“Let’s get fucking trashed” Michael grinned wildly, manic glint in eye.

\--

Gavin loved his Boi, because wherever there was Michael Jones, there was a party. And wherever there was a Michael Jones party, there was a fight. Tonight was just like any other, fists and booze flying, music blasting and with Michael in the midst of it, no one noticed Gavin slink away.

Gavin left Michael to what he loved to do, dancing his way to the bar and sliding between waiting customers to flag down the tender with two fingers in the air, “Whiskey. Neat.” He flashed his smile and his money clip. A hard hand grabbed him by the tie and spun him around.

“What the fuck do you think your doing?” a caveman snorted in his face. Gavin wafted the man’s breath away from his face and gave his most charming grin. As he spoke, he pulled out some cash from his clip, sliding it behind him towards the tender who knew him.

“I was buying myself, and those fabulous young birds down the end there some drinks. Classy ladies like that need a martini each don’t you think?” he asked, cocking a single brow. The neanderthals brain had been impaired by alcohol because the moron did not click to what he was suggesting.

“You cut me in line you little fucker.” He roared in Gavin's face. Once again, Gavin fanned himself, this time, tucking his clip away in his suit pocket than putting his hands on the paws that held him, petting ever so gently.

“Perhaps I was a tiny bit aggressive in my acquirement of bevs, but, shall we… ahem?” he pointedly looked at the mittens wrapped in his suit and tie then back up to the behemoths face, “If you’d just loosen your grip for a moment…”

Unsure what was happening and turned about by Gavin’s calm, the caveman let him go, watching in confusion as Gavin fixed himself up. Once outfit was again straightened and presentable, Gavin beamed up at his new friend, turning to grab a martini in each hand, giving it over to the fool.

“Right. Just take those over to the ladies in question, tell them the drinks on the house, your treat.” Gavin winked, “I think that would solve our dispute don’t you? Go on now, off you pop.” and before he could be stopped, Gavin grabbed his own glass, evaporating into the crowd as a giant man stood blinking stupidly holding two delicate martini glasses in massive hands.

Gavin rounded around, eager to watch the results of his peace offering. Finally the idiot had gotten the right idea, approaching the ladies in question. Both were perched on bar stools, in dresses that hardly covered the inappropriate bits of them. They were chatting and smiling amicably at each other, one reaching and tracing a hand over the others thigh as the recipient giggled.  Gavin ghosted closer, blending in with a group that was milling around a table close by.

Gavin's assailant lumbered over and grinned down at the two, a drink in each hand until they finally notice him. He held out the drinks, making some pathetic attempt at smooth talk. Gavin grinned, sipping his drink as the lightweight women's champion of underground bare knuckle boxing stood up and decked the man who had dared muss Gavin’s seven thousand dollar designer suit.

Gavin danced his way back to the fight he had left Michael in. He stepped out of the watchers ring just in time to dodge a body thrown across the dance floor. Gavin watched it skid to a halt, before looking to the cause, his partner in crime.

Michael was having the time of his life, jacket down around his shoulders, fists up and blood speckled across his face. His eyes were as wild as his hair and he had his teeth bared in what could be mistaken for a smile. He was savage beauty and violent grace in Gavin’s eyes as he squared up against the two remaining enemies.

Gavin slipped a hand into his pocket and raised his glass to his best friend. It almost was like Michael was waiting for the gesture. Michael lunged, ducking his head as he swung out. Fist connected, spittle flying. A leg came for him, he blocked it. Pushing back, he spun, zipping between the two.

Gavin grinned over his drink, watching Michael have fun. He ducked and weaved, fists always connecting and taking a few hits in the process. Blood only spurred him on, be it his own or someone else's. So when he spat dark black onto the floor, his next uppercut knocked an opponent off their feet. 

Gavin stepped back when Michael was grappled, staying out of range of swinging bodies. Michael grunted with pain as his arm was twisted behind his back, forcing him to bend at the waist or dislocate his shoulder. Gavin bent with him, smiling into Michael's face, “having fun?”

“Oh yeah,” Michael spat, then with a roar of pain, turned, popping his shoulder out but getting free to slug his grappler across the face with his free hands, “fucking tons!”

Gavin straightened and winked at a woman in the crowd watching, giving her the up and down as Michael finished his fight one armed. Last guy got decked and Gavin stepped into the space, “well, winner is MY BOI!” Gavin deliberately pulled on Michael’s dislocated arm to put his fist in the air and got kicked in the gut for his trouble. He only laughed however even as he drink spilled everywhere.

“You’re a fucking asshole!” Michael laughed and popped his own shoulder back in, practice making perfect. Gavin waved a hand and Michael took it, helping Gavin up and leading him through the people who parted to make way for them to their booth. Gavin fell into a seat and Michael flopped down across from him, rotating his shoulder, “Where the fuck did you go?”

“I had to get some bev's didn’t I?’ Gavin defended himself, putting his empty glass on the table as proof. Michael snorted, rubbing his shoulder now as he looked at his best friend.

“Where the fucks mine?”

“Ah, well, had a spot of bother, and your drink was the price. Sorry luv.” Gavin didn’t sound sorry at all, smirking widely. The bouncers had cleared Michael’s attackers away and the dance begun again. This club was one of their favorites and used to Gavin and Michael’s antics.

“Welp, I’m calling it a night anyways.” Michael said with an eye roll, “You coming?”

Gavin stood up with his friend, talking as they headed out, “Nah, but I do need your help with a little something I’ve been working on.” 

Michael chuckled, knowing Gavin’s hobby normally involved high levels of manipulation, “Oh yeah?” 

“I need you to punch me- WAIT!” the moment he had said punch, Michael had drawn back a fist, Gavin flinging his hands out to stop him, “Bloody hell! Let me finish!” Michael reluctantly dropped his hand and they continued to Michael’s car, “In chest. Punch me in the chest not the face. I want hidden bruises.”

“To go with the cigarette burns?” Michael asked as he leant against his car, folding his arms. Gavin nodded enthusiastically and carefully unbuttoned his shirt to reveal the burns across his stomach. Michael grinned to see them, he had put them there after all. There was also coloring of other bruises, some Michael hadn’t put there and he frowned, “Wait what are those from?”

“Oh that?” Gavin pointed at a large blue and yellow splotch on his side, “That’s a door knob. I threw myself against the door yesterday to get it.” Michael burst into laughter, the thumps coming from Gavin's room yesterday suddenly explained. Gavin was always doing shit in his room so no one investigated but of course they were curious.

"So I need a nice spread just here,” Gavin gestured to his pec, “Two or three fresh ones will do and OH! When I go down, gimme a good kick in the side.”

“Done.” Michael agreed readily, and squared up, Gavin bracing himself for the pain. Michael didn’t hold back, he’d been helping Gavin like this for a few years now. Gavin yelped as Michael hit him, curving automatically, getting defensive hits for the other two. He collapsed naturally, and Michael kicked him as asked before kneeling and offering Gavin a hand, “You ok?”

“NO! You just kicked the shit outta me!” Gavin complained loudly, fighting back tears as he curled on the ground, “Fuuuuucccckkkk.”

“You asked me too” Michael rolled his eyes, helping Gavin up forcibly, knowing Gavin wouldn’t object to finger shaped bruises as Michael manhandled him into the back of the car, “Kevin's? Or… what's the other one?”

“David. And Kevin is the one I need to see me like this.” Gavin whined, snuffling in pain. Michael ignored that and smiling as Gavin couldn’t help himself and went on, “David is the one who hates my guts. Especially after what I did to his cat. He’ll bloody attack me on sight. Which is what I need.”

Gavin loved to brag about his manipulations. Tonight he was culminating four months of work. Getting one man to hate him, and the other to love him. Tonight, he was hoping to push them over the edge together. Tonight, he was determined to see blood.

Michael pulled up down the street from gavin's mark, and Gavin thanked him. As he was getting, Michael put a hand on Gavin's where he was pushing off the passenger seat headrest to get out, “Hey, want a fuck real quick?”

Gavin shook his head rapidly, too hyped up for sex, grinning maniacally, “Naw mate, sorry. Go wait for Geoff.” Michael growled frustrated but let Gavin go. He was his own kind of pent up and now he was on his own. Once Gavin was clear of the car, Michael gunned it before the door was shut, roaring off down the street and skidding around the corner.

Gavin adopted a limp, and made his way to the house where his target lived. Kevin yanks was a kind hearted giant, one with a shady past he was trying to avoid. When he had been younger, he had accidentally killed a girl while drunk driving and had served his time. Now he was terrified to hurt anything, made worse by the fact he was intimidatingly large. Six four and built, his work as a laborer only encouraged his reputation as a thug.

Gavin had made friends with him after seeing the man in a flower store. He had been interested what kind of man built like that would buy flowers. He had been beyond thrilled to find out they were for the girl who had been killed, Kevin laying it on her grave. Gavin had opted for the protector angle, making himself as vulnerable and small as possible.

With an ‘abusive boyfriend’ to boot.

David was not Gavin’s actual boyfriend, but his ‘neighbor’. Originally Gavin was going to stalk him and drive him insane for the fun of it, but David's hair trigger anger intrigued him. When Gavin met Kevin, he knew what he had to do. He bought the house next to David and proceeded to become the world's worst neighbor.

Gavin threw garbage over the fence. He set up cameras and teased David about the unsatisfied women leaving his house. He had huge ravers and paid off the cops to turn a blind eye. He drunk parked in David's yard and painted his windows with his own garden when he spun his tires getting out.

Gavin's favorite was when he released fireworks in his backyard and ‘accidentally’ aimed them at David's bedroom window. That was when David burst out of the house, still smelling of fire extinguisher and threw Gavin into his own fence. Those bruises he wore proudly home to brag to his crew.

Now Gavin knocked on Kevin's door, holding his side where Michael had kicked over the doorknob bruise. When Kevin opened it, Gavin crumpled his face, tears coming to his call, half falling against him, “Can I stay here tonight?” he asked, his voice breaking into a sob.

Kevin looked at him, aghast at his disheveled appearance, Gavin never redoing his buttons or putting his jacket back on. Kevin's kind face was full of sympathy as he stood aside, “Of course Pete, please. Sit down. Are you hungry?”

“Starved.” Sniffles Gavin cunningly, playing up the very real injuries by wincing as he sat. He leant his back against the couch than hissed siting forward quickly.

Kevin stiffened in the kitchen where he was fixing Gavin a bowl of ice cream and fruit, “I don't know why you stay with that bastard. What has he done now?”

Gavin ducked his head to hide his smile, “Nuthin. I'll be ok. Once I rest…” his face was suitably pathetic, “I can rest here right?”

“Of course you can.” Kevin said, sounding more angry than he had before. This was Gavin’s goal. He wanted both men too angry to reason.

Kevin came over slow, Gavin's bowl in hand. He didn't notice Gavin sliding Kevin's own phone back between the couch cushions. Kevin was too busy trying not to startle what he thought was a victim of abuse. 

“Thanks Kev.” Gavin smiled softly, taking the bowl and leaning on the armrest to expose his side. Kevin took a sharp intake of breath at the site.

“Pete…” Kevin breathed, reaching cautiously towards Gavin, gently tugging Gavin's shirt wider. Gavin whimpered as Kevin brushed gentle fingers over his bruises, “Please don't go back…”

This was it, Gavin's Oscar winning moment. He set the bowl aside and brought his long legs up, hugging his knees. His eyes were large and pouty, “I have too. You don't understand. He'll find me.”  Gavin shed a tear that he let run down his face, “He wants me. He’ll do anything to get me. No one can stop him”

Kevin said nothing so Gavin lent further to his side, turning his head to show the hickeys on his neck left by Geoff, “No one can protect me…”

Kevin clued in, putting a hand on Gavin's leg, “I'll protect you.”

Gavin turned to look at him willing tears to overflow before finally throwing himself into Kevin's lap, hugging his midsection and bawling. Kevin held him close, making a low hum designed to be soothing. Gavin wished he'd stop, it was hard to keep the tears going when he was getting irritated.

Gavin didn't have to cry for long before the last puzzle price arrived. An angry thumping at the door made them break apart. Gavin cowered away as Kevin got up to investigate.

“I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!!” David shouted, Gavin's schooled flinch sealed the deal. Kevin charged his front door, Gavin ghosting behind a few minutes later.

The door swung in, hitting the wall with a thump, “The FUCK are you doing here?!” Kevin thundered, fists clenched in an effort to keep his temper.

Gavin pressed his hands to his mouth in apparent fear, holding back his laughter as David played right into his trap. With a violent finger stab in Gavin's direction, “I'm here for THAT LITTLE FUCK!”

“David please!” Gavin shrieked, baiting him to take a step and doom both men, “Nothing happened!”

“The fuck it didn't Pete!” David took that step in, victory flooding Gavin's body, “You killed my ca-”

Like mittens when Gavin deliberately smashed her head with a shovel, so David had no time to finish his noise before violence was upon him. Kevin grabbed him with a roar of broken rage, throwing him to the ground just inside his house and getting a top him.

Big angry hands rose and fell, protests and screams for mercy ignored. As Gavin had seen, Kevin's temper was a slow burn, once stoked, a roaring fire that couldn't be stopped.

Gavin didn't want him to stop. Here they were, perfect strangers but for him, and now fighting bloody. He watched with rapt attention, euphoria spreading through his veins like the finest heroin.

Kevin's fist hit, blood spurted over David’s lips. Davids palm pressed against Kevin's face, trying to push him off. Faces were red, voices raised. David struck with his other hand curled into a weapon. 

Gavin was in heaven, breath coming in fast, heart speeding. He felt light and he let the fight go on for a few more intense moment before he threw in his finisher.

“Kevin look out!” He shrieked at the perfect pitch of concern and fear, “He's got a knife!”

As he warned, he had pulled out of his pocket, a knife, hand in a handkerchief, flipping it open and sliding it up beside David’s leg. David made an instinctual grab, but Kevin seized it. Gavin's breath caught.

It was over, David’s hands grasping at Kevin's shirt as he choked, blood fountain dripping over his lips. Kevin's eyes were wide and horrified as he looked down at the knife sticking out of David’s throat. Gavin moaned in ecstasy as Kevin killed for him.

“Oh god…” Kevin gasped, lifting his bloodied, quivering hands to his face, “What have I done?”

Gavin put himself back into character, thumping the coffee table as he sat down hard on it, whimpering loudly to get Kevin’s attention, “You killed him… You killed him Kevin!” he shouted the second part, standing up again, pointing an accusatory finger at the man, “You right proper killed him! He’s dead cause of you!”

“No, NO!” Kevin was beside himself, scrambling back from the body, David’s head limp and fell to the side, dead eyes seemingly following his guilt ridden murderer. Gavin could see Kevin was freaking out and glady served to push the right buttons.

“You’re a murderer Kevin. A proper Killer! Kevin you slit his throat!” Not quite true, he had more stabbed him through the neck, but Gavin knew Kevin wasn’t thinking logically right now, “You’ve killed a man in your own home! You brute!”

Kevin wailed, hand pressed to his mouth quickly to stifle the noise, head shaking. Gavin advanced on him, bringing Kevin’s eyes from David’s empty ones, to Gavin, shirt open, bruises showing. Gavin had played the part of David's boyfriend, and now he brought it home.

“You murdered him! You animal! All he was doing was try to defend me!” Gavin turned it on Kevin now, disrupting his reality, “Wasn’t it enough that you beat me?!”

“B-beat you?” Kevin repeated, confused by Gavin’s choice of words, pushing himself up the wall, “I never lay a hand on you… He did! You told me-”

Gavin threw himself back, away from Kevin with his hands up, warding off a blow that would never come, “NO! Don’t kill me too!”

“I would never-”

“LOOK THERE!” Gavin shrieked, pointing at the body cooling between them, “You’d never what?! Kill a man? A man defending his boyfriend?! You’re going away Kevin! You're going away for life! You murdered that girl, you murdered David and now you’re going to kill me!”

Gavin saw it, the exact moment Kevin's mind broke. Overloaded, plagued with guilt, sorrow, fear and hopelessness, he looked about for some escape. Gavin couldn’t have that, slowly lowering his arms, dropping his voice to a lower more soothing tone.

“There isn’t any escape Kev. You’re a killer wherever you go. Here, there, anywhere you run. You’ll never be rid of the blood. Blood is dripping from your hands Kevin, and they are all going to see you for what you are…  _ monster! _ ” The real monster took a step back as Kevin dove for the body, grabbing the knife and pulling it free. Gavin bared his teeth in a wild grin, evil eyes watching as Kevin held the knife to his own throat, “Do it Kevin. Escape. You’ll never be free in this life. Not after what you’ve done. No one will ever love you, ever be near you. You’ll die cold and alone in your prison cell. Knowing everyone hates you.”

Gavin had more, but there was no need. Kevin plunged the knife right into the hollow of his throat. His eyes bulged and he looked at Gavin, instant regret on his face. But it was too late. Gavin watched him with rapt attention as he fell to his knees, staring at the cause of his death. Gavin saluted three fingers at him in goodbye, giggling once as Kevin tipped forward, twitching than laying still as blood pooled around him.

Gavin waited a beat, then jumped into the air with a fist pump and a holler. He had done it! The hat trick! His very own two for one special! He did a small dance, right there on the spot, before he got out his phone, eager to document everything. Camera phones had really given him the world at his fingertips.

He took pictures from various angles, different lighting, different parts. He made sure to get the knife in Kevin's throat, the bowl of spilt ice cream and fruit, David’s eyes still looking to the side. After the photo shoot came the check over, making sure there was no sign there had ever been a third person here. 

It’s why Gavin had messaged from Kevin’s phone, why he had put all the paperwork for David’s next door house under Kevin's name. Only Kevin and David knew Gavin as Petey, he had introduced himself as Kevin to all the neighbors. He doubted anyone would show a photo, there was too much evidence to the contrary. Even if they did describe Gavin, how could he be found?

David's own phone had a message from Kevin’s: want the cat killer? Come and fucking get him.

Along with the address of course. Kevin was a psycho, broken by prison, pushed to pick a target. The knife had never been touched by anyone but him, and the seller was a gang member who could give Kevin's accurate details. What a sick, sick man to buy from the FAKE’s… 

Gavin sniggered to himself, pulling a thread from Kevin’s shirt free, and one from David’s jacket. He twined the two together and pocketed them, buttoning his shirt as he took one final look. Months had gone into the play tonight, and the final show had been something grand. It would take a lot of planning to top this one. 

Still, for now, Gavin would bask in his own glory, savor the memories until they begun to fade. 

\---

“Gavin?” Geoff knocked on Gavin’s door in the early morning. He rubbed sleep from his eye as he heard Gavin thumping about, than the door opening a sliver to reveal part of Gavin's face, “Morning. Want bacon and eggs?”

“Nah Geoff. I’m good. Gonna sleep a bit longer.” Gavin smiled, door opening a little wider so Gavin could get an arm out, cupping the back of Geoff's head and bringing him down to kiss his forehead.

Geoff flushed, grinning fondly as he drew back, rubbing where Gavin had touched him, “Ok, yeah, I’ll save you some.” he rumbled but Gavin had already shut the door. Geoff shook his head and let him be, moving to rouse Michael.

Gavin waited until he heard Geoff's steps move away before flying back to his printer. He hadn’t slept at all yet, instead picking and altering the photos he wanted to use. On his bed was his most prized possession, something he would kill someone for looking at, let alone touching.

Geoff gave it to him, as a gift. The first nice thing someone had done for Gavin without him  _ making  _ them. Presented wrapped in shitty brown paper, Geoff had been gruff as was his usual setting when dealing with feelings.

_ “If you’re going to join, then I can give you what no one else would.” _

With those words, and the paper sliding away from the book he was gifting, Geoff won the loyalty of a very dangerous man. Gavin didn’t know how Geoff had found out about his scrap-booking, but for once, didn’t want to find out. It was too good to pass up for a simple mystery.

The leather scrapbook was filled with thick creamy pages, only the first half filled. Tied at the spine with Crew coloured ribbon and it was embossed with one word above the reflective set crew emblem. Gavin knew it was a blessing from Geoff, that Geoff knew and appreciated his skills.

His achievements.

He added his latest with reverent hands, glueing in pictures of the dead beside Gavin’s transcripts and notes of how he did it. How he ended the lives of two men, without actually touching them maliciously. Lastely went the two pieces of thread, still wound together. He used the thread to highlight the title.

HAT TRICK


	6. Chapter 6

Ryan paced in his private room, master bedroom of course, as he listened to the shower run next door. Alex had cared for Jeremy, had put a cast on his wrist, made him eat and now sent him to shower complete with bag for the cast. And it was Jeremy who preoccupied his mind now.

Ryan stopped in his pacing, tipping his head back, and closing his eyes as he really took in that information. He had tried not to think to hard about it when he brought Jeremy upstairs but now he was alone, he could finally fully consider it. Jeremy could  _ see!  _ He could truly  _ see!!  _ Ryan laughed triumphantly, replaying again Jeremy's reaction to Edgar’s light. The true need that had made him beat Edgar's head in in an attempt to get at it.

Get at the Light.

Ryan by no means was a stupid man. He could recognise his mental state was not the standard in accepted society. People were hard, they were distrustful and they were selfish. But they were not broken, as he was broken. They were not cruel, as he was cruel. And they definitely did not kill, as he killed.

Crazy. Insane. Psychotic. Deranged. Just some of the words tossed about when Ryan was involved. In a moment of weakness, of longing to just once, feel some normality, Ryan agreed to attend an appointment with a doctor. A leading member of their field, the psychiatrist was fascinated by Ryan. 

The feeling was not mutual and Ryan snapped his neck before he left. He did take the prescription however, curious as to whether the drugs would work on him. Well, they did, reducing his ‘madness’, taking the light out of eyes and replacing them with the dull blank herd stare. Mindless zombie’s all around him while his stomach spun and his head fogged.

He would rather be crazy then half alive, so he’d tossed the pills out and never spoke of it again. But now… Jeremy could see it too. Jeremy demanded the light from Edgar, had seen it. How could that be? Ryan lived in hope but was always disappointed. Not this time. Not this lad.

Was he crazy? What was the chances of finding someone else with the same need? Geoff and Alex thought Jeremy just needed to exercise some power over others. What if his problem was deeper? What if he was empty of light as Ryan was? What if Ryan wasn’t mad, just rare?

Perhaps Jeremy was the key to finding out.

Jeremy! Ryan moved suddenly, twisting and his hands grabbing at his hair, pulling the strands, the sweet pain grounding. Jeremy Dooley! What an enigma! A delicious puzzle, wrapped in a mystery, tied in a bow. 

Dependable Jeremy, reliable Jeremy. Kind Jeremy, funny Jeremy. Killer Jeremy…

Ryan shook his head beginning to pace again, hands dropping as he argued with himself silently. It wasn’t the same, it wasn’t. It’s not. It couldn’t be. Jeremy killed with his guns, killed fast, killed quick. Killed from a distance, impersonal

Ryan's hand went to his gut, pressing in where he felt the hollow within. The empty feeling he got when he was low in light, it sat inside him, twisting his guts and burning his thoughts. Jeremy wouldn’t have survived without light, would have starved for it. Ryan himself knew how badly he could snap if he didn’t watch his levels.

Still, work kept him pretty even until he could get away to Edgar’s hole downstairs. The thought jolted through him and he snapped his fingers, twisting again to now face the wall, “That’s it!” he muttered aloud, finishing the thought in his mind.

Jeremy was living off shreds of light. The little tastes one got when you killed quick, before the fear could stoke. The crumbs of light falling when you beat a person down, or the drain when you fucked them. Yes, Jeremy had two partners, so he must have been living off them, without even recognising it.

Ryan had no time for unwilling partners, no desire for anyone who didn’t desire him. As for willing, well, it was dangerous. Willing they came to his bed, but not all left it and certainly no one returned if they did. Ryan couldn’t help it; when he was connected like that, he took from them more than pleasure, he took the passion and the pain. Driven to hurt just to stoke the light brighter.

Jeremy must be living off the drain from his partners, needing two so not to over exert one or the other. Must let one rest as he used the second. It would explain how Jeremy had gone so long without recognising his needs. He’d been content with his partners and his job, feeding from the light as Ryan did, but not recognising it as he’d never starved for it before.

Ryan sat on the bed, a frown pulling at his lips. He listened to Jeremy turn off the shower, and he wondered what had changed. Jeremy obviously needed more than he was getting, though he was content before. He had been getting more aggressive, his temper fraying and his frustration growing. 

Logic demanded that Ryan had to consider that maybe Jeremy wasn’t insane but simply stifled by his separation from-

Ryan leapt up again, “He moved to main crew!” Ryan declared for himself, diving back into his pacing, the excited energy in his body needing an outlet. Unable to contain his thoughts, he had to verbalise them, lecturing himself, “He moved out of B crew rankings, taking on the real burdens of our job but losing the small hills that was keeping him sane! No longer doing the little dirty work meant that source dried up so of course what’s he going to do? Take it out on his partners! Trevor and Matt didn’t turn on him; he turned on them! What does any prey do when it’s being hunted? Why, it pushes the intruder out of its territory of course! Prey and herd instinct to band together to protect themselves!”

It all fit! Ryan was exuberant with his logic. Jeremy WAS just like him! Perhaps royal blood did flow through Jeremy's veins as much as it did Ryan's. Jeremy lost one source, than the other and now was starving for it once more. It was the only conclusion one could draw from all the facts.

Ryan beamed, jumping on his heels like a prize fighter before entering a ring. He would have someone at last, who understood. Someone who would be able to know what it felt like. Someone to talk to, compare notes with. Someone who wouldn’t flinch, or cringe, or turn a distasteful colour. 

Someone who would look upon his work, not with fear, but with joy.

Ryan would show Jeremy the universe.

\--

Jeremy’s instincts where on point, Ryan would give him that. Three hours after they had all said goodnight and turned in, Ryan had slipped into Jeremy’s room. Jeremy was awake, dressed in knee length shorts and a dark t-shirt, waiting for him.Ryan felt no guilt seeing Jeremy's left hand in a cast for his broken wrist. Jeremy didn’t say a word and neither did Ryan, both feeling like Alex did not need to be awake for this. 

It was only when Ryan reached for the basement door that Jeremy spoke up, “Ryan wait.”

Ryan paused with his hand on the doorknob, listening warily. He was on the point of giving into his dark self who had risen to the surface. A darker version of Ryan. One with a need to hurt, to take pleasure in others pain. A more kingly persona, where Ryan could let himself believe he was entitled to others pain.

“Once we go down there…” Jeremy struggled for words, Ryan heard him try to start a few and discard before he spoke again, “Why did you call me Prince? Before I mean. When we were upstairs and you said I could-”

“See.” Ryan breathed, tipping over completely with sweet relief. He turned, drawing himself up, evaluating the potential member of his court. He was a King he was owed blood and loyalty, and perhaps this man also had royal blood, “You can see. That makes you not knight, nor lord, but Prince. A Prince of the blood.”

Ryan could see Jeremy struggle to understand his confusion a cute expression on his face because there was no fear with it. Never fear from Jeremy. Cation, yes, but not fear, not even after being punished by Ryan's hand. Ryan smiled fondly, placing a hand on Jeremy's shoulder in a supportive gesture, “If you see the light, than you must have royal blood in your veins. We shall find the truth of it when we descend into Edgar’s hole.”

Jeremy straightened under his touch, determination in the cut of his mouth and eyes nodding at him. Ryan was thrilled Jeremy was responding so well, a natural understanding falling between them, unforced. Ryan lead the way down as he thought over the others he had had down here.

Geoff and Alex experienced him at his most feral, and so neither volunteered to apprentice. Alex did come watch, and that was an experience but it was just a show to him. The lads had been more promising.

Michael had come, and discovered that he didn’t want power, but he wanted to be powerless. He watched Ryan at work and begged to be an Edgar himself. Of course, Ryan denied that request, but in his mercy he let Michael become a subject and occasionally, with permission from Geoff, was allowed to practise non permanent techniques on the begging lad.

Gavin had tried to fake it. Ryan had almost killed him for his impudence. Gavin thought he could fool a king, but he was nothing but a jester. Geoff managed to get Gavin out when he heard the screams, Gavin never truly forgiving Ryan for the months he was laid out with a broken arm and shoulder.

Then there had been Ray…

“Sire?” Jeremy’s voice broke through his remembrance, Ryan stirring to find he had paused on the steps. He didn’t know how long he had been standing there, but he moved again, not ready to address it with Jeremy. No need for him to know about past failures

Edgar heard them and he cowered against the head of the bed in fearful silence, his head bruised and swollen in places, his eye blackened. Ryan grinned knowing he’d be no trouble, and switched on the lights for the whole basement to supplement the spotlight over the bed. Edgar dismissed from mind, Ryan turned to see Jeremy's thoughts on his set up.

He watched as Jeremy’s eyes roam over the room, pride bringing a smile to his lips as he took in the awe on Jeremy’s face. Before Geoff and the crew, Ryan had made do with anything on hand, but now he had this space to express himself things were different. 

Handmade shelving of metal, filled with instruments from the trivial to the exotic. From butter knife to machete. Matches to blowtorches. Dish-washing liquid to acid vials. Ryan had it all, and a unique filing system. He grinned wider as Jeremy cautiously approached, looking back at Ryan for the nod of approval.

“Ouch?” Jeremy read the word like a question from the place card on one set of shelving. Ryan stepped to his side, a quick look to see Edgar was also looking around but silent. He focused on Jeremy, who was tracing a finger over a delicate finger blade.

“My system of sorting. These I like to use as a warm up,” He explained, and took two steps backwards towards the bed too gesture at the next lot of full shelves and ground cabinets for larger items complete with its own sign, “Really ouch, is mostly where I work. That and the FUCK area over there.” he pointed to the other side of the bed, more shelving on the other side.

Jeremy, again pleasing Ryan' by looking to him for permission first, went to look on the other side. There were the more damaging toys Ryan liked to play with under the placecard ‘FUCK’. Jeremy ghosted his hands over some, curious about the more everyday items there before he was drawn to the last set of shelving.

KO read the labeling. Obviously the things Edgar would not survive. Ryan could see Jeremy shiver, noted the goosebumps on his arms as he looked over the smaller selection there. Ryan came up behind him, not wanting to scare him but unable to stop himself from reaching out and touching. 

Ryan felt Jeremy go still as his hand went over his hips, holding him in place. Ryan's hands warmed quickly against the thin shirt that was all the protection between skin to skin contact. The experienced killer chalked it up to his low light levels when his heart quickened at the look Jeremy gave him over his shoulder.

Cation, curiosity, awe mixed in the Lads expression without the slightest hint of fear.

“Choose something to play with.” Ryan whispered, curious to see what Jeremy would select. He forced himself back a step, hands leaving more reluctantly, but freeing Jeremy to move again. Ryan expected Jeremy to choose a knife of some kind, a blade. A quick death.

He knew Jeremy needed to kill, and he also knew he could get another Edgar. Ryan was willing to let this be over quick, in order to test his potential apprentice, and investigate whether he was a Prince waiting to come out. Besides, the lack of light was starting to ache, his fingers twitching to cause pain.

Jeremy took his time, so much so that Ryan was starting to get irritated. Jeremy walked back and forth between the different selections, running a finger down a blowtorch here, petting a blood pressure cuff there, before he stopped. To Ryan’s immense surprise, Jeremy lifted up a cookie cutter in the shape of a star, “How does this work?”

Ryan could have thrown him down right there and then. How magnificent, what style, what instinct! He had even asked Ryan by fully turning his back to Edgar, blocking the sight of what he held from the man's view. He was a natural.

Ryan swallowed hard, pushing aside images of a keening Prince, blood beading over his face from backspray, looking up at Ryan with worship. He nodded, putting on a face that showed nothing of his desire, but still displayed how pleased he was in Jeremy’s choice.

“Grab them all as I prepare Edgar.” he told Jeremy, passing so close, he felt the heat from Jeremy's shoulder on his upper arm as he brushed by. He grinned privately as he felt the spark of electricity between them. Yes, Jeremy was just what Ryan needed. He was sure this time.

“Edgar.” Ryan addressed his captive, Edgar pulling himself up into a sit to look at him with fear. Ryan found fear to be a distasteful emotion. Fear was weakness, and weakness must be avoided at all costs within himself. But within Edgar's, it stocked the light brighter.

Ryan knew how to play an Edgar, knew when to threaten and when to beguile. It was easy to get this one back on his belly, the lovely expanse of back once again before them. The bruising was a deeper colour now both from Jeremy's beating and from Ryan's punishment, but it was no matter. Long, unbroken lengths of flesh was theirs for the marking.

"Come. Sit." Ryan invited Jeremy over, the cookie cutters being placed beside Edgar so cool metal rested against skin. He saw Jeremy look for somewhere unintrusive and Ryan wasn't having it. There was no point in Jeremy watching anymore, Ryan had learnt as much as he could about Jeremy that way. Now was the time for action.

Ryan grabbed Jeremy and manhandled him into a sit on Edgars lower back, straddling his victim. Jeremy didn't have time to get flustered or lost before Ryan was sitting directly behind him, body pressed against his, intimately, perhaps more then either had realised they were going to be. Their bodies responded, but once again, Ryan didn't have time for that, perhaps later.

"We are going to play a little game with Edgar." Ryan coached, feeling the heat of Jeremy against his chest, increasing it as he run his hand down Jeremy's arm and took his wrist. He did the same with the other arm holding cast, making Jeremy his puppet, using his hold on Jeremy's arms to use him like a puppet.

"I've explained to Edgar, if he wishes to keep all his digits, not to speak unless spoken too," Ryan explained as he guided Jeremy into picking up a christmas tree cutter, feeling the tremor of Jeremy's muscles under his palm, "Now, we are simply going to take this and press down. Stop when I command. Understand?"

Ryan knew how Jeremy would feel as they did this. What he didn't know was how it was going to feel for him. As he guided Jeremy's hand, putting the cutter down on skin, placing palm over hand and starting to apply pressure, he felt the familiar shiver of pleasure. But on top of that, was an excitement he hadn't felt in a long time. 

Edgar screamed, thrashing underneath them as the cutter increased in pressure, skin splitting from the force, the metal sinking in. Ryan gasped quietly, unheard over Edgars hysterics and Jeremy's low moan. Power thrummed through him from his hands up his arms as his muscles quivered with it. He watched the ruby red spread, filling the metal and spilling over like it was the first time.

"Stop." Ryan commanded low in Jeremy's ear.

In his grip, he held a true prince. Jeremy's hands shook as Ryan drew them away, and the sneaky lad dipped a finger into the blood, tracing the metal in the skin before sticking it into his mouth. Ryan bit his lip, imagining the taste of blood on Jeremy's fingers, how it would be to suck it from a Princes digit. 

Would Jeremy taste from Ryan's hand?

"Now. This is a game. We now ask Edgar what shape is in his back. If he answers correctly, we remove it." Ryan explained, pushing his urges down, wondering how Jeremy would feel about toying with Edgar. 

"Edgar, my man." Jeremy asked cockily, "What cookie are we making you? What shape?"

Ryan bit his lip to stop his laughter, absently letting Jeremy's casted hand go, snaking his arm around Jeremy's waist without thought. Edgar stuttered and sobbed, begging for mercy before saying square. Incorrect.

"What a shame. He got it wrong Little Prince." Ryan cooed, trying the name out, not quite fitting yet, "Take another, bear down."

Jeremy snatched up another, putting it against back that thrashed as Edgar roared for mercy. Ryan noted he'd have to take a finger as he had warned Edgar. He was lax on punishment today however, since he had Jeremy here to learn. And learn he had, Jeremy not waiting for Ryan's encouragement before he was pushing down. 

Sweet chorus of agony filled the room, a lightness of spirit and laughter echoed as they played their game. Sometimes Edgar got it right and reluctantly Jeremy would pull the cutter out and toss it aside. Mostly he got it wrong and a delighted Jeremy would use the next one. All the while Ryan was against his back, his hands roaming, petting, encouraging, guiding. His voice in Jeremy's ear, coaching.

It was everything Ryan had wanted from an apprentice, so much so he forgot to ease up. So after Edgar had answered right too many times and Jeremy got frustrated, Ryan almost didn't catch it.

"Star! Star! Star!" Edgar sobbingly chanted the correct answer. Ryan was too distracted painting blood on Jeremy's back from his canvas that he missed the moment Jeremy growled and ignored the reward. He left the star in, grabbing the circle and pressing down. Edgar's voice broke under the strain of his screams, Jeremy grabbing another without asking a single question. That too broke skin, sinking deep, and finally Ryan saw what was happening as he reached out to re-ink his fingers and noticed more cutters and less talking.

"Jeremy." he rumbled warningly. Jeremy ignored him, another cutter in hand, lining it up. Ryan couldn't allow such a blatant breaking of the rules, grabbing Jeremy's wrist again, "Stop."

Jeremy fought his hold so Ryan grabbed his throat with his free hand, twisted around Jeremy's body, growling in his ear, "I said 'Stop'."

This time Jeremy froze as Ryan's warning sunk in. Ryan had easily broken Jeremy's wrist without a second though and they both knew Ryan could break his neck just as casually. Ryan didn't want to kill him however, so he'd probably just cut off Jeremy's air till he passed out. Still it was good that Jeremy learn some respect.

"Come." Ryan gently drew him away from Edgar, getting him to stand by the bedside and commanding him to stay. Then he sat back down, flicking the cutters and getting Edgar to answer, ripping them out when correct, "Prince Jeremy. Over there in that cupboard are towels get me one will you?" Ryan ordered, pleased when Jeremy moved.

He was definitely a Prince of the light, Ryan could see that now. Ryan himself got up and got a hand held blow torch, burning the cuts closed on Edgar's back then wrapping them in the towel before leaving Edgar to his misery. He put bloodied hands on Jeremy's shoulders, smiling wide at him.

Before he could speak, Jeremy was babbling, his cast ruined with blood, his fingers flicking as he gestured, spreading the mess onto Ryan's chest, "I'm so sorry sire! I don't know what came over me. I just- he was bleeding so much, it was so beautiful- I just wanted- I'm so sorry, please don't send me out, don't send me away-"

Ryan pressed a finger to Jeremy's lips, looking deep into his eyes as Jeremy looked at him with trepidation, "Hush. I shall not send you away. We have more games to play. I grew distracted painting your back, I forgot to monitor you. The fault is mine Prince-in-training. Never fear, I shall correct it."

Ryan grinned, taking in the beauty of another flecked in blood, a want in their eyes for the unseen light, a novice to train and experience anew his art. He took his finger from Jeremy's lips, smiling wider as he got an answering smirk from Jeremy.

"So… we can keep playing?" Jeremy asked respectfully, glancing at the ruined man then back to Ryan who was nodding.

"Oh yes. Yes, we can…"


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: so just letting you know the below might trigger manipulative unhealthy relationship things. It's about a relationship that not working because of one controlling partner.

Jeremy had spent two days and one night down in the hole with Edgar and Ryan. His new King. He had seen and learnt much about himself, things he hadn't known but now understood had always been there. Watching Ryan take Edgar’s life at the end had been rapture. Then it had been over.

Stepping back into his life was like stepping from dryland into water. Jeremy could only stay on task by pushing the past weekend to the back of his head to deal with later. Even so, it broke through; the blood, the screams, the sweet pleasure, the laughter…

A knock on his driver window made him start, looking out to see Trevor smiling at him. Guilt washed through Jeremy as he smiled back. In his weekend of learning, Jeremy had forgotten all about his partners and how he was meant to be trying to win them back.

“Hey there stranger, you getting out anytime today?” Trevor asked with a raised brow, hitting straight to Jeremy's core with those words. Jeremy nodded, chuckling awkwardly, pulling the keys out and opening the car door. Trevor backed up so Jeremy could get out and lock his car, coming forward with arms open.

After a slight hesitation, Jeremy gave what he always did; whatever Trevor needed. He hugged him tight, letting Trevor lay his head on Jeremy's shoulder and breath deep, “I miss you.” He sighed out into Jeremy's collar. Jeremy pet his back twice and gently disengaged their hug to smile up at him.

“I missed you too,” He lied like the professional he was, widing his smile to seem more excited by his presence, “When Geoff sent me down here, he didn’t say you were at this office today.”

Trevor scoffed and gestured towards the office door with a graceful hand, “He wouldn’t. I swear that old man fancies himself a matchmaker.”

“He’s not that old.” The defence was a knee jerk reaction, Jeremy already scanning the office for threats as they walked in. Although FAKE owned, the little D.M.V was mostly legit. Only in the back did they run a paper forgery business. As such, any customer could be a threat. To Jeremy, so could the employees. He was used to being backstabbed by gangs; only precious few earnt his trust.

Thinking of trust; “How’s Matt?” He asked stiffly as they journeyed into the back office. Trevor wouldn’t meet Jeremy's eyes so Jeremy stopped in the hallway, grabbing Trevor’s wrist to pull him to a stop. He searched Trevor’s shifty face and sighed, “Still pissed huh?”

“Well no one made you move out Jer.” Trevor mumbled half heartedly trying to justify the anger of their absentee partner. Jeremy growled, rolling his eyes and his head together, running a hand through his hair. All his effort to relax had been blown in a single sentence. 

The newly discovered Darkness within him shifted, pleased, but not saited by watching Ryan at work. The anger was simmering deep below the surface and now it was bubbling again. Hurting Edgar had helped, but it seemed it did not cure the rage and emptiness inside Jeremy.

“Well, it was pretty fucking clear I was no longer welcome Trev.” Jeremy bit out, remembering back to his last night with his partners. He distinctly remembered being shoved by the normally cool and collected Matt Bragg. Jeremy had been ejected from his own house, not even given time to dress again, his clothes thrown out after him.

“He meant for you to cool off. Sleep on the couch at the penthouse, then come home.” Trevor unleashed the brown weapons on him, his large eyes half welling with unshed tears, “Like you always do. Come home Jeremy…”

Jeremy couldn't look at the puppy dog eyes, looking at his hands instead. Picturing them covered in blood, remembering the sweet smell of it to ground him. Go home? Touch Matt and Trevor with these hands? Abandon Ryan's promise for more?

“There isn’t any going home for me Trevor.” Jeremy said softly, gently balling his hands and dropping them to his sides before he looked up at his boyfriend with sympathy, “Not this time.”

“Come on Jeremy don’t be like that.” Trevor pleaded, but Jeremy just stepped around him. He couldn’t see the look of hurt on Trevors face but he could imagine it. Had seen it many times before. Unfortunately sometimes caused by Jeremy himself.

"Jeremy. Jeremy, please!" Trevor's voice followed him as he kept walking, fists tight and shoulders hunched. If he stopped and gave in, he'd go home and then he'd hurt them again. He wasn't worthy enough to be with them. They deserved better.

The back office was busy with people working away, falsifying identities and printing off the hours of work ready to add any picture needed. The office manager spotted Jeremy come in and rushed to him straight away, "Mr Tim! I-I didn't expect you today. How can I help?"

"I need an Id to get into a swank auction. Someone with money, enough to get in, but not enough to buy, understand?" Jeremy started explaining, pushing Trevor and Matt aside in his mind. He was good at compartmentalizing like that, it was the only way he could focus on a job.

His expertise was infiltration which most people were confused to learn when they met the full Rimmy Tim persona. Jeremy knew how to be unnoticed, invisible. He could get into groups like breathing there but not quite apart of them, watching, learning, gaining trust without drawing attention. He learnt from a very young age how to be unobtrusive.

Tomorrow night, Geoff needed him to do just that. Infiltrate an auction by himself, ears open for the information Geoff wanted. Though the plan was that the others would be there, Jeremy was to appear apart from them. Geoff wanted someone invisible while eyes were on the fake crew. Thus the new ID Jeremy needed.

The manager listened to his requirements attentively before rushing off to get it together for him. Jeremy watched them go before he turned towards an empty seat. He knew Trevor was on his heels, had heard the door open and close, but he didn't want to fight here. He pulled a seat from a desk and pushed it against the wall, sitting down.

Trevor had the same idea, taking another spare seat and sitting next to him, looking at his face in an unbroken stare. Jeremy tried to ignore it but he broke when Trevor gently put a hand on his thigh.

"What?" Jeremy asked a little harsher than intended, looking into Trevor's sweet, kind face. Trevor broke into such a adorable smile that Jeremy couldn't help responding to it with his own.

"There's my guy. I knew he was there under the grump." Trevor whispered, cupping his face and breaking every rule as he drew Jeremy in for a kiss. It was natural to lean forward, to have his lips meet Trevor's. Trevor was his gentler partner, the one who eased the pain. He connected them, smoothed out the bumps.

But something felt… off…

Jeremy drew back before Trevor had stopped, looking down as he tried to put his finger on the problem. Trevor’s anxiety was skyrocketing, Jeremy knew it would, but he needed to figure this out.

"What is it? Did I- was that wrong?" Trevor asked, voice high with worry. Jeremy looked back to his eyes and smiled even if he didn't feel it. He couldn't let Trevor feel bad even when it was his own fault. Trevor never deserved to feel bad.

"No, no. It was fine Trevor. YOU were fine just… " he searched for an excuse and it came to him with the heat of irritation, "Matt wouldn't be too happy you're kissing me after the bruising I left on you right?"

Trevor shook his head, pushing harder on Jeremy's cheek to make him focus, "They healed dude. Not a mark on me. It's ok, we know it was an accident. Matt has cooled off. Just come home, I'm sure he'll forgive you."

That hurt. Jeremy hated when Trevor talked like that. Like he was nothing but property belonging to his boyfriends. Something that he and Matt also disagreed on. Jeremy wanted Trevor to acknowledge himself, but Matt argued that Trevor was more comfortable this way and they needed to accept him the way he was.

"I don't give a fuck what Matt thinks right now Trev." Jeremy said truthfully, grabbing Trevor’s face in his own hands, his cast grazing against Trevors scruff, "What about you? Trevor do  _ you _ forgive me?"

All his beautiful walls came crashing down inside him. His compartments bled over as he stared into Trevor’s eyes and saw fear ignite there into a glorious blaze of light. The same light he'd seen down in Edgar’s hole, now it was calling to him in Trevor’s love and terror. Love and fear of  _ him. _

Trevor yelped as Jeremy lunged, pushing him out of the seat. He tried to get to his feet but Jeremy grabbed him almost standing now, fistful of arm and shirt used to slam Trevor against the wall so hard the chairs skidded away from the vibration, "Jeremy wha- AH!"

Jeremy grabbed Trevors thigh with his good hand, pulling it out and up, sliding between his legs as the other knee buckled under the taller man. Jeremy used his body to pin Trevor to the wall, at face level as he kissed him hard, all teeth and tongue. Jeremy felt Trevor’s hand against his chest flat only to curl in his jacket and shirt to fists, holding him closer.

So right… _ so wrong... _

It was like coming home, all comfort and familiar smells. But it was like coming home after growing up. The smell was musty, the sights skewed and faded. Everything was so much smaller, much older, more used. Trevor tasted like Jeremy had moved on.

His mouth stopped moving and their lips stuck slightly as Jeremy pulled back, breathing hard. Trevor was panting as well, so soft and lax for him, so giving. Jeremy didn't want give, he wanted take. He wanted fight and fire and power. Trevor was good, but Jeremy no longer deserved it. 

He craved bad.

"Ahem? Sir?" the managers voice sounded so very far away as Jeremy looked into Trevor’s eyes, eyes that had loved him for years, comforted him, inspired him… And he saw nothing.

"Leave the papers on the chair and fuck off." Jeremy told them curtly, not breaking his inspection for light, searching for where it had gone, "Trevor… Are you ok?"

Trevor gave a light, shaky laugh, "Course I am," He lied smoothly like he always has. Like always, Jeremy pretended it was truth as he gave Trevor a much more smooth chaste loving kiss, wishing it had been the one he started with. As always, he'd been much to rough.

"Hey," Trevor could see Jeremy drawing away, into himself, so he pulled Jeremy by his shirt tighter to his body, "Come home. At least for the night. Come talk with him, we can sort this out."

For Trevor, Jeremy nodded, helping him stand up, giving him his leg back and taking a step back. He owed it to Trevor now, could barely look at him. No doubt he had fresh bruises now, Jeremy's grip had not been gentle, "Ok. Tonight. I'll come over around six?"

"Sure sounds-" he didn't get a chance to finish his sentence as Jeremy snatched the folder and fled before he could be conned into anything else. Trevor was left looking at a closing door. Again. "-Great…"

\---

Jeremy steeled himself at his own front door. It was the apartment they had lived in together for five years. An apartment he often got thrown out of. He didn't know if he wanted to go back in this time. It would hurt too much when he was exiled again.

He wavered, ready to turn around and chicken out when he remembered what he'd been like this weekend past. Jeremy remembered being unsure, being confused, considering backing out. Only to stop, take a breath and draw on something that had been hidden inside him. Prince, Ryan had called him. A Prince wouldn't run from his relationship.

He knocked, hearing the two inside scramble. He pulled himself as straight as he could, ready for the lecture he was sure to receive. Matt swung the door open and looked at him flatly. Jeremy met his glare and they stared in silence at each other, considering the changes just a few days made.

"Jeremy." Matt acknowledged him first, forcing Jeremy to nod his head.

"Matt." He said just as curtly, clenching his fist to stop from throwing himself at Matt's mercy. He missed them so much, his bed at the penthouse was so empty. He loved them, he couldn't lie to himself when he was looking at his oldest friend.

"Jeremy! I'm so glad you came!" Trevor broke the ice, throwing an arm around Matt, dangling from him as he reached out and took Jeremy's hand, soothing circles traced on the back of his hand. Jeremy smiled at him more genuinely, touched that Trevor would still take his hand so casually after Jeremy continuingly lost control around him.

"What happened to your wrist?" Matt asked harshly, not softening, but shifting so Jeremy could come in. This also meant he moved Trevor and the contact between them was lost, a shard of pain stabbing through Jeremy's heart. 

Jeremy strode in like he had never left, simply because it would irritate Matt and delight Trevor. Once fully inside he turned on his heel, waving his cast in a gesture, "Oh you know. Work is tough."

"See?! This is why I hate your job dude" Matt snapped pointing at the cast, "it hurts you and then you come home and hurt us!"

"I said I was sorry-"

"Sorry's not good enough-"

"I'm never good enough!"

"I've been trying to help you!"

"Guys stop!" Trevor shouted hands pressed to his ears. Jeremy and Matt had subconsciously drawn closer as they screamed at each other and now both looked away at their mutual boyfriend. They may butt heads but one thing they agreed on was keeping Trevor safe.

Matt sighed giving Jeremy the half smirk he'd fallen in love with, "Truce?"

"Truce." Jeremy agreed, giving him a hug and burying his face into Matt's neck. Even more then Trevor, Matt smelt of home. They'd been friends since they had been young kids and lovers since fifteen. They hadn't found Trevor till their late teens and so Matt was Jeremy's constant in his life.

It was easy then to fall into old patterns. Jeremy scooped Matt up into his arms cheekily, the man laughing at the sudden grab and throwing his arms around Jeremy's neck. Trevors smile could have lit up the city as Jeremy fell onto the couch with Matt in his lap. They kissed, short but sweet, all the heat of their anger turned to longing for each other.

As Trevor rushed to grab dinner to keep the good vibes going, Matt flicked some hair from his eyes and smiled up at Jeremy, "It's good to have you home. Don't leave again." he added the second part as a command, waving a finger mockingly. 

"Don't kick me out again." Jeremy countered a little defiantly, but Trevor cut in from the kitchen.

"Please guys! No fighting tonight!"

They rolled their eyes together then laughed at being in sync. Matt slid from his lap to the seat beside him, keeping his arm around Jeremy's shoulder and picking at his shirt. The bright purple had always been a point of fun between them and today was no exception.

"What is everyone in the penthouse, colour blind?"

"Better than straight up blind." Jeremy joked and poked Matt on the arch of his glasses, smiling as he got a chuckle from him, "Seriously though, how have you been? I missed you guys like crazy," when he'd been at the penthouse at least, "I thought you would have at least called, even just to yell at me some more."

"We've been fine. Geoff is pretty sweet to let me just do my thing and Trevor’s been working with Lindsay to run the B team sides of things." Matt told him, picking up a controller and handing one to Jeremy, "I'm developing a new virus that targets bank encryptions. Soon I might make your job useless."

Jeremy laughed and the night fell into more comfortable rhythms. Trevor cooked as Matt and Jeremy gamed and caught up. Jeremy filled him in on everything but carefully excluded anything to do with Ryan and what he had learnt about himself under the older mans guidance. Trevor flopped down between them with food for both and the trio watched youtube as they ate and joked.

It was everything he had missed. So when Trevor went to have a shower and Matt told Jeremy he'd be sleeping over, he didn't object. He had clothes here already and soon he had Matt back in his lap, set on stripping him of his current set. 

Jeremy knew all the steps here, and he took comfort from the routine of it. They kissed, first soft, then quicker as Jeremy shed his shirt then pulled Matt's free. Now they fell onto the couch with Matt's back down and Jeremy rocking against him as his fingers worked Matt's pants off. It was nice, calm, expected. A dance they had perfected over the years.

Boring.

"What? What is it?" Matt asked breathless when Jeremy suddenly stopped, his own pants half kicked off and about to join Matt's on the ground. Jeremy stared at his reflection in the dark Tv screen, seeing empty eye's looking back to him as Matt rose up on his elbows, "Jeremy? Jeremy come on man, you can't stop now."

"I got to go." the words fell out of his mouth without thought. Matt exploded beside him, but Jeremy was already standing as he wiggled back into his jeans. Matt had sat up as well, running a hand through his hair to push it back from his face as he shouted.

"What the FUCK Jeremy? Am I some fucking joke to you?! What the hell do you mean? Go where?! Why?!" Jeremy shook his head as Matt went off bending to grab his shirt. Matt's arm on his cast was easily brushed off as he made for the door. Matt followed him in only his boxers making another swipe for a wrist, this time snagging the bare one and pulling Jeremy to a stop, "Look at me would you for christs sake?!"

Jeremy spun around, looking to Matt, his oldest friend and lover and seeing nothing in him worth staying for. No light, no laughter, no love. He was empty, or was it that Jeremy was empty? Jeremy felt the realisation wash through him, "It's me Matt. I don't know who I am…" he admitted the hard truth then flinched as Matt responded with a cold scoff.

"Wow man. Way to be fucking selfish." the rebuke hit hard, making him take a step closer to Matt, already feeling guilty. Matt wasn't finished however, dropping Jeremy's good arm and folding his own in disgust, "I guess all this time with us meant nothing huh? I look after you, Trevor does the touchy feely shit and you; You’re meant to protect us. But hey, it's cool. You go. There’s the door I won't stop you."

At the word door, Jeremy looked to it, sick with his guilt and sudden fear of being alone. If he didn't stay now, with those who loved him despite his broken self, he'd have no one. No one could ever love him as he was. Matt and Trevor were the only ones who tried. He couldn't walk away from that.

Jeremy fell to his knees at Matt's feet, hugging his legs and pressing his cheek against Matt's thigh, "I'm sorry Matt. You’re right, I've been selfish. I fucked up and went too hard and got myself kicked out. I'm sorry I got it all confused in my head. I'm so dumb dude, please, forgive me?"

A kind hand ruffled his hair and Jeremy looked up, feeling a tear slid down his cheek. Matt was smiling at him, relief was like a punch in the gut to see it. He was forgiven and Matt would take him back.

"Trevor!" Matt called gently, "Jeremy's staying the night!" the declaration got Jeremy to his feet, hugging Matt, taking the kiss on his lips gratefully. He made Matt laugh by scooping the taller man up, and carrying him with his legs hooked over Jeremy's cast, to the bedroom. There Trevor had been whooping as he dried up, tossing the towel aside when he saw them.

All three collapsed onto the king-sized bed, and Matt let Trevor give Jeremy the hugs and validation he needed. The much more affectionate man cradled Jeremy's head against his chest, rubbing hands over his back and shoulders, crooning his love into Jeremy's ear. Jeremy hugged him back, closing his eyes and letting Trevor soothe his emotional hurts, grateful that Matt let him back into the bed after the drama Jeremy had caused.

Jeremy was a lucky man indeed to have two such understanding partners.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and kudos if you enjoy! Feel free to hit me up on tumblr! I'm trying to be more active there in answering and prompts :)


	8. Chapter 8

The Fake AH crew had gathered enough of reputation that they were noticeable on sight. Their leader, Geoff Ramsey, tended to wear full suits whenever he was in public. They were classic three piece black suits, with silk ties that screamed money. Then, completely disregarding that money, the sleeves were either rolled up or just plain torn off at the shoulders, showing every inch of tattooed skin right down to the tips of his fingers. With sneakers on his feet and Sunglasses on his face even this late at night, Geoff Ramsey had his own style others respected.

Especially with the Vagabond standing behind him with arms folded. The line waiting to get into the club split at the sight of them. No one wanted to mess with the masked merc that was firmly in the employ of the Fakes. Gavin was in his element, his job was never easier than when Vagabond was around. People loved to talk to him when the alternate was talking to Vagabond.

No one loved to talk more than Gavin, "Holy heck! What a club! Three stories? Someone is overcompensating, eh Geoff?" He joked as they walked towards the front of Blood Gulch. A Rooster owned club that normally they'd never come too, but tonight they needed too.

"Gavin, best behaviour remember?" Geoff reminded him sternly, linking his arm with Gavin’s elbow to keep the lad by his side, "I do have your mouth mask in my pocket. Don't make me use it."

Ryan grinned behind his own mask. For him, the mask was freedom, to be himself and interact with the world in a way that makes sense to him. For Gavin, a mask was a prison, shackles against his ability to make people dance to his tune. Ryan was interested in Gavin of course, but his gift was different to Ryan's. Almost a supernatural ability to talk people to death.

Ryan preferred the hands on approach.

"I'm behaving Geoff, please." Gavin excused himself and Geoff snorted.

"Just watch your tongue around Burnie." 

Ryan added nothing to the conversation, telling himself he was scanning the crowd for threats, NOT for Jeremy. They had spent the weekend together, Ryan showing and guiding Jeremy through the harvesting of an Edgar. Ryan took the kill in the end however, and to do so he sent Jeremy away. He'd not seen him since, though once Ryan had recovered enough to read his texts he had one from Jeremy thanking him for the fun time.

The crew was split up for this; Geoff and Vagabond were the two hardest too disguise so they went as themselves. Ryan never let his Master go out without protection, preferably his. Of course Geoff wanted Gavin under his watchful eye, therefore Golden Boy was with them. Alex and Michael were going in separately, disguised as part of the crowd. Lastly, Jeremy was 

entering from a different tactic, using his skill as a infiltrator to get into the back room alone.

They needed to get into the back room tonight. Geoff had business with the auction that was going to be held. Unfortunately they were not on the best of foot with the Roosters which ended being a problem sooner than expected. Once in front, the beefy man looked up, taking in the grinning Gavin on one side and the tall, clearly masked Vagabond other. He spoke to Geoff directly.   
  
“If that’s who I think it is,” he said tipping a pen at the silver Skull mask, “Then that makes you Geoff Ramsey.”   
  
Geoff nodded and the bouncer looked back to Vagabond briefly then back to Geoff.   
  
“I’m so going to fucking regret this either way but you are not on the list.” He said, eyes flickering to Vagabond as that jacket shifted, showing a glint of a gun butt at the disrespect to his master. Gavin made himself noticed, stepping slightly in front of Geoff and leaning over the rope.   
  
“Did you seriously just deny Geoff Fucking Ramsey into your club?” he said quietly, a hint of panic in his voice. The bouncer looked defensive, tension clear in his shoulders.   
  
“Look, I got orders, man. I let you in and next thing I know I got a bullet between my eyes.” Gavin turned to Geoff and Vagabond, smiling and lifting a finger to signal a moment. Though he was still on alert, Ryan did find Gavin’s antics amusing, watching the exchange carefully. When Gavin turned back to the bouncer his face was scared and his hypnotic voice desperate.   
  
“If you don’t let us in then they will hold you and I directly responsible.” He put a finger to his chest, eyes wide and open, “Now I don’t want to go in the hole alright? Not again! I can’t do it!” he tapped the bouncers chest once, tilting his head at him with a tinge of dread on the pleading expression, “Do you want in the Hole?”   
  
Ryan snorted quietly behind his mask. Somehow it had gotten out, and he did suspect Gavin, that Vagabond enjoyed taking a few prisoners no longer useful to his kingdom. Of course, it wasn't broadcast as his kingdom, re-branded by word of mouth as The Hole. The bouncer gulped obviously wavering and moved towards Gavin like a conspirator. Gavin shuffled a bit more forward, the rope tight against his legs now.   
  
“Look, I don’t want to piss off your boss or his,” the bouncer eyed Vagabond nervously, “ but see here? Understand my position.”   
  
Ryan shifted as the bouncer moved, ready to pull Geoff behind himself but they were only offering Gavin the clipboard. Ryan relaxed that tiny bit, curiously looking over the crowd again then back to where Gavin was reading a list. Near the top of which there were six names.   
  
Geoffrey Lazer Ramsey   
  
Alex "Big Al" Stanley   
  
Mogar Jones   
  
Gavin Free/Golden Boy   
  
Rimmy "Monster Truck" Tim   
  
Vagabond   
  
Gavin looked as if he was going to be sick and only experience had taught Ryan not to believe the expression. Gavin pushed the board back at the bouncer hissing furiously.   
  
“Do not let them see that! Who the fuck is McCormick and why is their name higher then Geoff’s? Whatever, doesn’t matter. What matters is you let us in right now.” The bouncer hesitated but Gavin’s final words decided him, “What’s more frightening to you? A bullet, or the Hole?”   
  
The rope clinked as the bouncer undid it. Geoff strolled past Gavin who shuddered theatrically as both gents passed him, falling into step meekly behind Vagabond. Once out of sight of the bouncer, Gavin speed up and hooked his elbow through Geoff’s arm.   
  
“Who’s the best? I’m the best!”

Ryan rolled his eyes, keeping to himself that it was less Gavin’s tongue and more fear of  _ him _ that got them in. He was disappointed Jeremy hadn't been there to see such a strong professional bouncer cave at the meer threat of visiting Vagabond. Then he shook the thought away; now was no time to be daydreaming about crewmembers. He had to focus. His Master was in enemy territory.

Heavily infested enemy territory, Ryan added to himself as they passed the coat check and entered into the main dance area of the Club. The music was thumping, but Ryan had in his filtering earplugs that canceled damaging noise but let in conversion. He did shift closer to Geoff, placing one hand on his masters shoulder to keep him in range, one hand on his most obvious concealed weapon.

"Up there." Geoff muttered gruffly and pointed to the side and up, the Vip area that oversaw the entire dancefloor as well as the bar. Ryan followed his gaze and his lips thinned to see his most prominent rival leaning against the railing, looking down at them. Joel Heyman waggled his fingers at them, causing Geoff to wince because Ryan's grip became painfully tight.

Geoff reached up and pet the offending hand, "Vaga, heel. We are not to cause a fight." Ryan didn't answer but he loosened his hand, following as Gavin lead them across the dancefloor towards the stairs too VIP. He didn't speak when he had his mask on unless he absolutely had too, but privately within his mind, he told his master that he wouldn't start any fights… But he would, sure as the day is long, finish one.

The bouncer at the bottom of the stairs tried to stop them but, with the music thumping so loud tampering with Gavin’s skill, it was Ryan’s turn to get them through. He stood up, toe to toe with the hired help, dead eyes glaring at them through the skull mask. A hand twitched and then they were waved through, the bouncer holding up his hands, sorry he had ever reached for his gun as a hunting knife nicked his throat.   


As the two others started climbing, the skull mask kept the knife pressure on the bouncer as their other hand stole his personal weapon. One handed, Vagabond ejected the clip then cocked it twice, to get rid of the bullet in chamber. There was a mute clatter as the gun hit the ground and the knife disappeared. Vagabond patted the bouncer on the cheek twice then stepped by him, taking stairs two at a time to catch up with his group. The bouncer slid away hoping he could change his wet pants before he fled the wrath of Burns.   
  
Up top, the body guards let Gavin and Geoff by without even a courtesy once over, Gavin’s smooth reasoning convincing them it was unnecessary. Vagabond was only two steps behind and though no amount of golden tongue would convince anyone this man wasn’t carrying, they decided to let him past. They were hired help for the club and not ready to die for a gang boss.

"Remember. No violence unless I say or to save our lives." Geoff reiterated at the top of the stairs to Ryan. Ryan gave a silent sigh of the shoulders so Geoff could physically see how tired he was making him. Geoff didn't care, glaring at him until he reluctantly nodded. Gavin was inching by them as Geoff sorted out his attack dog and was looking towards the Vip area eagerly.

"His way or my way Geoff, doesn't matter. Lets go! Did you see Heyman? What a guy right? I wonder if-" Gavin was blathering and fell silent as Geoff grabbed his wrist and pulled him over. 

Geoff pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose letting go of his hold and waved a hand in Gavin's direction, "Vagabond, do not let Gavin within whispering distance of Joel heyman."

"Whot?!" Gavin objected but Ryan had his orders, grabbing Gavin and pulling him to his side. They could now see the whole V.I.P section. A lovely little balcony space with red couches and plush pillows, its private bar and a glass table in front of the seats currently being used as a footrest. Ryan took a quick survey around the space, putting names to faces of those he knew and evaluating the rest for a threat level.

First and foremost to Ryan's mind was his Rival. Joel Heyman, who once had been known by the street name Golden Gun, but no longer. He shelved his street name and proudly declared himself untouchable to any laws. Much like people didn't understand how Geoff gained the obedience and loyalty of Vagabond; Ryan didn't know why Joel answered to his own master.

The Master in question was sitting before them with his legs up on the table, one hand cradling a glass of what looked like whiskey on his knee, the other wrapped around the shoulders of a stunning blonde that was seated beside him. Michael 'Burnie' Burns, head of the Rooster operation and as soulless a person as you could get in the cold dark world they lived in.

His eyes narrowed at their appearance and the three bodyguards Ryan had mentally tagged around the room as cannon fodder, all put hands on their guns. Burnie raised his glass to calm them, then gestured it forward at the trio, eyes now settled on Geoff. As Geoff walked forward, Ryan moved as well, keeping right on his heels and pulling Gavin with him. 

One last roam of the area had two men at their backs now, having closed in, one man to the back of the couch and to the left, Joel standing directly behind his boss and now coming out of a door behind the bar, Burnie’s brains of the crew.

"Oh what the fuck is this? When you text me to get out here, you didn't say it was for  _ him! _ " Gus Sorala complained, putting his hands on his hips and glaring at Geoff. Ryan's focus sharpened and Gavin shifted a little out of his grip to stand unassisted behind Geoff. Geoff himself shook his head slowly and chuckled.

"Hey Gus. Good to see you too." He commented wryly. 

"I didn't say it was good to see  _ you. _ " Gus told him firmly, then strode closer to his boss and Joel. Joel's eyes had not left Ryan's since the talk begun. Ryan was glaring with all his hate, all his malice he could muster. He wanted the light inside him to come out and melt Joel where he stood. Joel, in comparison, was downright cheerful, throwing Ryan the occasional wink and smiling wider when Ryan stayed stock still in response to it.

"Gus, have a seat. I'm sure there's a reason Geoff came by. 

"I’m sure there's a reason! I’m just betting it’s not a GOOD reason! I was in the middle of a match!" Gus raved but fell quiet when Burnie shot him a look. Gus sat under protest, folding his arms and legs, glaring at Geoff. Burnie tilted his head at Geoff, giving him a good long look over, then doing the same to the others. As those eyes trailed up and down Gavin, Geoff subtly shifted to block Burnie’s view.

"You seem to have company, Church." Geoff said pointedly, flicking eyes at the woman then back to Burnie himself. Burnie just grinned with delight and stroked the back of his hand over the woman's cheek.

"This is my darling fiance. You might know her better by her last name. Jenkins." At Burnie’s naming, Ryan's eyes finally broke from Joel, hating the flash of triumph in his peripherals but having to go over the woman again. Jenkins was one of the best bounty hunters in the area, Known under the street name 'Dollface'. She left behind nothing but a card for the local news station. This woman wanted her work seen, and it was work well worth viewing.

That also made her dangerous. Much more dangerous than Ryan had first assumed in that tight dress and high heels. Ryan was furious that he hadn't picked up on it, chiding himself for dismissing her simply because she was a female on the bosses arm. Mistakes like that could have cost his master his life.

Her bright eyes were of catlike focus as she met his look and smirked.

"Fiance? Fuck, I never thought you'd go Monogamous." Geoff sneered and Gus coughed a laugh into his fist. Joel wasn't anywhere near as subtle, throwing his head back and gasping from how hard he was laughing.

"Burns? Monogo- HA! Half my job these days is picking up easy sluts for him to-"

"Joel!" Burnie's voice was a crack of a whip. One that was effective, Ryan noted, as Joel swallowed his next laugh turning it into a snort which he stifled with a hand. He kept the hand pressed there and waved the other signalling them to continue without him, flashing a thumbs up as his shoulders rolled again in another hidden chuckle. Burnie’s glare slowly pulled away from him then back to Geoff, "We have an arrangement."

"Not what her posture says." Gavin whispered quietly in a singsong tone. Alerted by Gavin’s snide comment, Ryan double checked and sure enough, Jenkins was sitting stiff now, her grip on her elbows vice-like in her folded position. Burnie didn't seem to notice or care, pulling his arm from her shoulders to lean forward, cupping his glass in both hands between his knees.

"The fuck you doing here, Geoff? You didn't come by here to pass pleasantries. So what in the actual fuck, dude?" Obviously the boss didn't like being laughed at, all patience evaporated as he glared at Ryan's master. 

Geoff shrugged and slid his hands into his suit pants pockets, "We heard you had a little action out the back of this shithole." Gus huffed quietly at the implication this place was anything but the glorious 5 stars it was but Geoff powered on, "We want in that auction."

Burnie sat back, shrugging his broad shoulders, putting elbows up on his couch so his suit jacket spread and showed no weapons. Confident he was safe and that they would be dead if something went down. Ryan's eyes flicked up now, seeing the third story above now had people; no guns out, but surely at the ready to be drawn. 

Ryan shifted forward, leaning in to whisper, "Master, I think-" Geoff held up a hand without looking at him, urging him back. He took his position again and situated his death glare back at Joel once more who looked delighted in Ryan's obedience. 

"Auction? I don't remember organising any auction. Gus?" 

"Nope. Nothing on the books for tonight boss." Gus quickly put in, ready to wrap this up so he could go back to his activities. Jenkins shifted as the men went through their posturing, Ryan's eyes drawn to the movement. He didn't like it, feeling uneasy as she stood up and left via the door Gus had entered. One less felt a lot more threatening now Ryan knew her capabilities.

"Cut the shit Church. Name your price." Geoff sighed heavily. Burnie grinned savagely and his eyes drifted to Gavin. Geoff took another step to the side to fully block his view, "In cash Burns." he added warningly.

"I don't want money from you-"

"How about some of our blow?" Geoff cut him off and that got Burnie's attention. Fake drugs were second only to Funhaus. The Roosters liked to cut corners to turn more profit, but for his own personal use, Burnie enjoyed other crews product. The problem was getting hands on it when your enemies.

"I'm listening." 

Ryan was plunged into dual instincts when Geoff ordered him to stay by Gavin but moved forward himself. He had to obey his master, but Geoff was now closer to his enemies then his protection. He gritted his teeth and his hand twitched towards the gun on his belt. As it did he saw others twitch in response. 

Ryan closed his eyes and breathed out, remembering the soothing presence of Jeremy in his kingdom. His hand eased, becoming naturally limp again as he recalled Jeremy's surprised smile looking back at him after his first cut. He breathed out slow and opened his eyes, calm once more.

Geoff had a bag on him and now he was sitting next to Burnie, the men preparing a line each. Burnie waited for Geoff to take first then he took his own. Geoff didn't use often, preferring to relax with a good book and keep his mind sharp, but he was practised enough Ryan knew this wouldn't affect him too harshly.

Burnie closed his eye's a pleased smile across his features, "What's your offer?"

"Four kilo's gets me and my associates in." Geoff offered. 

"Six get's you and your twink." Burnie opened his eyes to look at Geoff seriously, "Vagabond is not getting in." Ryan's eyes narrowed and the rage started to rise again. Geoff put up a hand, cautioning him to stay calm before looking back at Burnie.

"Gavin is my accountant and negotiator. Vagabonds my Bodyguard. They both come with me."

"Pfft, please." Burnie sat back, putting both elbows up on the back of the couch, letting his hands hang, "We all know Vagabond and his reputation. His presence will make buyers nervous."

"Seven Kilo's"

"Nervous buyers tend to scamper." Burnie said looking at his fingertips, flicking an invisible piece of dirt away. Geoff frowned, once again giving Ryan a motion to stay where he was. Ryan wanted to tear the smug lips off Burnies face and Joel could see that. Casually he strutted over and folded himself into a lean on the side of the couch, smirking directly at Vagabond.

"Calm, remember?" Gavin whispered by Ryan's side, his smile not dropping as he looked as comfortable as Joel standing there waiting. He was good at lying with his body.

Jeremy hadn't been. With every cry Edgar gave, Ryan could see Jeremy had a physical reaction to it. He fixed that in his mind now, helping him focus. Get through tonight and he could pin Jeremy to a wall and demand him to talk about their weekend. Despite harvesting Edgar of light in the end, Ryan was still… unsatisfied.

But now was not the time to stew over the fact when Ryan had come up from his kingdom, Jeremy had already left. Now was the time to focus because his Master was bargaining on his behalf.

"Eight then. For your nerves."

"Twelve and I might consider it."

"Ten"

"Eleven"

"Nine." Geoff had on his poker face as Burnie glared at him for lowering the number from a previous bid. Geoff just stared back at him steadily. A moment passed then another before Burnie sniffed, rubbing his nose.

"Nine then." He agreed slowly, then turned his glare on Ryan, "You keep your pet under a tight leash though Griff."

Geoff got up and though he nodded, he moved back to his crewmembers, "Sure, sure. And I'm not Griff anymore."

"And I ain't Church but some things never change. You remember how to get into the back?" Burnie smirked, back at ease now they were leaving his area, "Or your memory failing in your old age?"

"I remember." Geoff waved at Ryan to follow and grabbed Gavins wrist, "C'mon."

"Bye Geoff! It's been terrible seeing you!" Burnie called after him brightly, Gus already starting to complain.

"The fuck did you need me for anyway? I contributed nothing!"

Ryan checked to make sure Joel wasn't following as they reentered the rabble below. Geoff lead them to the side hall and into the back ways of the club. Ryan was glad that was over. Now all he had to do was ghost Geoff, keep him from any surprise attacks and let the rest of the crew do their job. 

Let Jeremy do his job. This was where he and Gavin shone. The rest of them were really just extra eyes and ears and a bit of back up. It was Gavin, with his sweet talking ways and Jeremy, with his expert infiltration skills who would be clutch tonight. 

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo! Come shout at me on Tumblr  
> http://nescamonster.tumblr.com/  
> Comment and Kudos if you liked it please! (keeps me motivated to keep updating)


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